Philly Duo

i thought you were special, i thought you should know.

2010-05-05T22:27:00.001-04:00

It's just where I am right now. Thats all. It's where i always am I suppose. Which is totally annoying and totally not where I want to be. Anywhere but here.

My phone is on vibrate for you

2010-04-27T10:46:00.003-04:00

I am sorry. This man is too much for me on some days and today I feel hella misguided. really. I do. So I just look at him. I want to meet him someday. him and rufus wainwright. Odd pairing right ? Rufus is such a tortured soul, I want to talk to him and find out what he feels on a daily basis. Now that his mother died I wonder how much more tortured he could be, maybe not at all. Who knows.

Anyway, back to Alexander here. Folks think Bill Compton is a hottie. I think that too, but this man is made for me. really, he is. every blond morsel of his body is for me. And apparently Kate Bosworth at this point.

I am not jealous though. Not me.

In other news, I got acupuncture today, as well as a shot of cortisone for my hip and knee pain. I have a 10 mile race on Sunday so I wanted to make sure I was able to do it. Will keep you in the loop.

Cheers folks.

something in your eyes is making such a fool of me

2010-04-26T11:16:00.002-04:00

hello there blog readers. Whats going on ? Well not a helluva lot here, maybe a little more than I'd like actually, but things I don't really want to rehash here.

Things have been tough for a while now and it's not really been safe for me to express myself in such a public way, but I am getting there, so sorry for not posting sooner.

The Broad Street Run is this upcoming Sunday. It's a 10 mile race right down through Philly. It's a lot of fun and it's generally not that competitive of a race because so many people run in it, and it's a pretty easy run, mostly a slow slope down to Philly's Naval Yard.

I'll be doing it, despite having some hip and knee issues, related to bursitis. I got some shots last week and am going to get some tomorrow morning.

I started going to a Rehab Dr. He does acupuncture which is really cool and has been helping me deal with some aches and pains.

What is going on for everyone else round here? Let me know whats shaking and I will be updating more soon>

Kiss Kiss.

the lights are out and i barely know you

2010-03-11T11:42:00.003-05:00

So. It's been a long time since I've felt this overwhelmed. Honestly. I am someone who always struggles with too many thoughts and too much going on in my mind.....but these last few weeks have been something different. In trying to articulate it in my head, I realize that it's helpful to write it out.
and here we are.

I just feel this sense of not knowing what to do. For instance, I've sat here looking at the same piece of paper for 15 minutes, i look at it, shuffle it aside, and then put it right back in front of me. This piece of paper, it's not nothing special. Doesn't say anything bad or even indicate anything is wrong, it's just a damn piece of paper.

I don't know where to turn, where to look for answers, which isn't something I am used to.

So let me be more specific. Home is hard right now. There seems to be a block happening, a stale mate might be what I would refer to it as. Just emotionally, it's still. like a puddle or marsh waters. In some wierd way, I am ok with this, but it's overwhelming. Very very overwhelming.

Then there is the whole roomate thing. We had a roomate who left abruptly, and basically left the top floor of our house a shit hole. Not cool. and of course, suddenly we are out a bit of money that we were used to. Has been an adjustment and a tough one at that. Too Boot my student load just increased to $600 a month. Which totally butt f#$k's me. in a bad way. Not good.

I just don't know what to do, where to turn. I just look at this same damn paper and don't do anything.

Just look at it's whiteness and take it in. As if it were a new thing. But i look closer and it's the same damn paper. All simple, and so so confusing.

nate

ps - i am about to delete Mika and Whitney Houston from my ipod. hate it.

the way you blowin up my phone

2010-03-04T09:20:00.003-05:00

You just wait hookers. You just wait. I swear I will have some readership, no matter how i have to promote.

Well, I am not quite that motivated, but my stat counter shows very very little visiting. At one point I had a lot of yous.

My sketchy ass finally got to see Avatar last night. By myself, which is always, for some fucked up reason, very cathartic for me. Anyway - I was so into it, i couldn't sit still, and .....oh god, my ass was quivering.

In other news, I am still stuck in Florida. I am sorta hatin on the NorthEast right now. It's taking me over a bit. We definitely did too much, in a good way. But next time I definitely have to spend some time just being. To note I saw my father. Which is very very odd in many ways, but more on that another time perhaps.

The boys in Fort Lauderdale were dirrrrrrty. Several memories are stuck in my head, but one in particular.....involving a flight instruction student and a text to Kevin and I. Ah. Good times.

We were well behaved though, not including the time we logged at Johnny's, but again,thats for another post.

Our host in Florida was amazing and we got some very special things done while down there and perhaps if you good little monsters I will show you soon.

Have a good day and blessed be the lord. te he he

don't believe the things you tell yourself late at night

2010-03-02T09:16:00.003-05:00

Hello men. Hello ladies. And all in between. I am not too sure who and where you might get to me at this point, sometime ago I was sorta connected to the blogging world, but have greatly disconnected from this place.

I was in Fort Lauderdale last week, and decided to re-enter into the world of blogging. I have things to say, and I think I happen to say them with cleverness, somewhat limited cleverness, but certainly feel like I can entertain a bit.

So here I am asking you to take me back into your arms.

What you need to know :

I will spend a decent amount of time talking about music and entertainment stuff.

I will allow for a pretty extensive spewing of personal feelings and thoughts. If you don't like it I am sorry, it's just me.

I am going to be more personal this time around. I felt as though I had to be a bit sterile in my last attempt here. But with facebook and twitter now, people are ready to be read, and ready to be discovered.
So there.

Kiss it.

And leave me comments bitches. I need to feel loved.

Natey

ps - every title of the blog entry is a lyric to a song, that i happen to find interesting.

i come undone in this mad season

2009-07-31T08:36:00.002-04:00

Summer is historically a time of great fun and busy times. Party to party, beach to beach. It has been nothing for us to be in Fire Island one weekend, Rehoboth the next, and then to Provincetown the following. Mix in the bag a little bit of Bucks County pool party lurvin, and you have in front of you our normal summer schedule.
This year has been wildly different. Not in a good way. I feel disconnected, and not ......normal. I've been giving a lot of thought to it this last week, as we close the final days of July.
In an honest attempt to paint myself in a more positive light, I understand our lives have been really "blessed", if you will, and that we are lucky boys to be able to travel and get invites and things. I know that we are totally fortunate in that regard. So I am not complaining. really am not.
Just trying to figure out why and how I got to feeling so socially detached. I think that we've gotten comfortable in not really making great efforts to connect with people outside of our immediate circle of friends. And I am not happy with myself in that way.
This summer started out really sad, I am not going to go into that right now, but sad is the only word to describe it, and I think we're still hungover from that sadness. Hopefully some of that is lifting, but I still feel foggy, disconnected and wonder what we did wrong.
Last night someone invited us to play Poker with people we don't know. We went and it was brilliant. Had so much fun. Connect the dots, and feel the rewards. Kevin also threw a really thoughtful party for my birthday last weekend. Which was really nice and I began to feel my heart beat a little bit.
Is it too late to start summer ?

i heard that you were trouble, but i couldn't resist

2009-07-30T11:23:00.002-04:00

Team Jacob. For sure. No doubts about it. Jacob Black. Taylor Lautner. Yes. Yes. Yes.

sweeter than heaven and hotter than hell

2009-07-28T15:43:00.003-04:00

To be sure, the running thing started out of the need to heal. Yeah, things weren't going too good in my life, things just weren't adding up. I took to running and found it to be this huge, enormous carthartic action.

And i felt better the more i ran. and i ran, and ran.

But just as sure as the positive effects are healing and help me to grow as a man, not being able to run like you want to, well it can feel devastating.

Since the Broad Street Run, I have been doing horrible on my runs. My breathing has come unraveled, my knee hurts, and most recently i have this horrible painful hip problem. Almost every run turns into this painful and stressful experience and its pissing me off.

I just got an x-ray of my hip to see my ortho doctor tomorrow morning. I wouldn't normally be so concerned with it all, except that i should be in full swing training for the Philly Distance Run (it's a half marathon).

Just thought I would share. I am not too sure who is stil around here, but if you are still checking this out, after all the time has passed, would sure like to hear from you.

COMMENTS !!! Now !!!!!!!!

Tao

2009-07-27T12:57:00.003-04:00

For some time i've been toying with a new tattoo. I think it's time. I think it's time to make some change across the board. Not sure what or how. But am thinking that a tattoo and a new lease is the way to go.

I've just had another birthday, one where Kevin really treated me to a nice and wonderful time. A party and many cocktails later, I literally could not stand up. really. Apparently I could not sit down either, as I fell of my chair backwards. Bad. And good at the same time. It was my birthday for god sake.
Anyway, my intent will go un-named right now, but I know that change is in the air.....and figuring that tattoo out might be just the way to start.

safe from harm

2009-03-16T07:13:00.003-04:00

Well, here we go. Another week to start, feeling good about this week. Have a lot to do and a lot to sort through, but have to stay strong and focused on whats ahead.....whatever that is. Feels a lot like big change is coming, can't elaborate, but it's coming. For me......for my journey.

Am reading Wally Lamb's new book...and I am really liking it, moves me. So much does anymore, I guess my thirty something ass is finally getting it.

Recently found some new old songs. Annie Lennox, pure perfection.
Love you the most.
NR

they call me hell

2009-03-14T13:49:00.003-04:00

Hey. Some days you can win, or at least fake it and then some days you just suck it big time. Today feels like I am sucking it big time. Impossible to talk to someone who just isn't present. Not one bit. So often it feels like my age is not relevant. That the schoolyard chase was the only thing that really ever mattered. UGH !!!

But, in an effort to be a grown up who is focused on changing what I can, and making a difference with myself and not others.....
have you heard the Ting Tings ??? I love them. LOVE THEM.
Thinking of going running, but feeling a bit foggy for that too. Not sure what else to do right now, but one thing is for sure. I can do what I am doing.
Anyway - have a fun day and I will talk to You Later !!!!!!!!
Natey

2009-01-04T19:57:00.000-05:00

and the new year begins. with much ado. So many things to peek ahead for. What the economy will bring us, what our choices will land for us.
It's all so mysterious, isn't it ?
Well I just wanted to check in with you all. To let you know what was up in this part of town.
we went to see Milk yesterday. So so so powerful and moving. I could not stop sobbing after the movie. Such a nutbag I am. But i HIGHLY recommend it for you all. Sean Penn is uncanny in his work. James Franco is one hot little box. Totes.

travel the world within my lips

2008-12-30T11:00:00.005-05:00

I looked over to the Lat Pull Down Machine today and spotted it.

The reason to return.

Mind you, I'd already tried to get to the doctor's this morning (big toe is doing something nasty and hurts like a whore) and then went to the gym (forgoing my run due to said toe jam) and was moving along pretty nicely with a tough shoulder workout - when.....zoot alors - there it was !!!! quite possibly the biggest camel toe this side of Saudi Arabia.

I said at that moment "damn Nate, get back to blogging, the world needs to know about these things !!!"

I have been missing for a long time now - and I can't really cite one specific event or reason for having dropped off.....I can say, with a great amount of certainty and regret, that I've detached from a lot of things. I have let important friendships and goals fall away. I don't return calls, sometimes won't return emails.....and it's not because I do it with purpose...I just don't feel like it. And that's been selfish.

It's totally foolish to list the things i need to change in 2009....and I know that, but there is alot that has to be tweaked. So I am setting about doing that now. I have to get my shit together and plan on taking full advantage of the challenges ahead of me.

So my dear dear friends, please forgive for my detachment and poor follow thru. I do so regret it, but I am here now, and will be for some time. Winning blogger readership can be a tough road, i know that, but i had a good following for a while. So hold please, and judge later.

Love you the most.

Nate

2008-09-12T07:52:00.000-04:00

Friday. And end of summer ish feelings.
lots to do and lots to do it with.
last few training days for a long race.
annual humungoid party.
fashion.
red wine.
a little fig candle action.
fabric.
cool nights with cool people.
wish you were here.

gotta get thru this

2008-09-12T07:48:00.000-04:00

i can't keep myself and still keep you too

2008-09-11T10:56:00.004-04:00

Although this picture is not so hot, this man is on our tv. he tells us the news, or weather, or something. I never really hear what he says. I am too busy thinking things. Dirty naughty things. Adam Joseph. He does triathalons too.

This might be a weekly installment. Hot news men...stay tuned.

In other news.

1. Love Lockdown - Kayne West = fab

2. Keeps Gettin Better - Christina A. = outstanding

3. Big Girl Now - New Kids on the Block and Lady Ga Ga = guilty pleasure = very gay

Facebook. Is so overwhelming to me. In one day's time I have so many people to update on my life, so many years later...I can't find enough time. And oh baby...it feels so good.

My college days were so outstanding and over the top...i knew so so so many people and had significant loss issues over the years, and now they are all back. Full force.

I was in a fraternity...Pi Kappa Phi and all of a sudden we're connected and all those sororities....connected. I am beginning to organize a reunion for January in NYC. Keepin me busy.

Whats up with you all ? How is everyone ? Comments please.

Now.

whacha think about that

2008-09-10T07:41:00.000-04:00

Dude.
Like.
I think I hate working. A lot. More later. Love you the most.
Nate

the smell of sweat and leather

2008-09-05T11:52:00.000-04:00

Cindy McCain whoring out her adopted daughter from Bangladesh = ungood
Cindy McCain’s hair = good

Chace Crawford naked on TV = good
Chace Crawford being the hotter Nate = ungood

Training hard for the Philly Half Marathon = good
Struggling with said training = ungood

Having lots of parties and invites in September = good
Having to behave because of training for the Philly Half Marathon = ungood

Facebook = good
Not being able to find specific people on facebook = ungood

Comfort in your own skin = good
Tightening of your skin due to aging = ungood

lovers are losing

2008-09-04T08:13:00.002-04:00

DCCXXIV

Good morning. This, up above, is going to be my new tatoo.......maybe. I am trying to come up with something new and fun.....and smallish for my chest.......What does you think ? It has some meaning. Who can figure it out?

I am officially back to the blog. Really. I am. I needed a little break for reasons unknown. Honestly, but since Brit Brit is going to be back on the VMA's, I need to respect and show up for my 3 fans.
Ok ? Ok

triggering your senses.

2008-08-25T08:47:00.002-04:00

Hey there folks.
So the weekend was great fun. We went tubing down the Delaware River all day on Saturday. It took around 4 hours, not a lot of current, some slow spots of heavy rowing.....but it was totes fun and the weather was amazing. It was a group of gays...16 of us, Steve did a great job of getting it all together and making sure we had a great time.
Anyway, we spent yesterday chillin in our back yard and having a nice Indian buffet. Not much else to report on actually, just feeling great with the weather and everything going well. This upcoming weekend we have a few potential plans...beach is one of them but not sure we are going to go.
Chadds Forge Winery is also a potential fun spot.....we'll see where the trouble takes us. Whats up with everyone else ?????
Hope everyone's summer is winding down nicely, i'll have more to write about soon. Just been busy training for the half marathon and getting my head on straight....so easily distracted.

PS - if you are a runner and have the ipod.....download the runkeeper application.......amazing !!!!

untouched

2008-08-18T08:00:00.004-04:00

Ain't gonna lie. No motivation to write in here lately. It's not because of any mah-jor drama or anything. Just sorta not been feeling it too much lately.
Which isn't to say i am not sorry for being so lame. I am sorry, and am going to try to do a better job at getting my junk together.
This weekend was pretty great, Friday night we blew it out......and I fully admit to being old now. I cannot groove like i used to. That is for sure and that is the truth. No more frisky bounce back nights. It took me a full day to feel human again and get myself in order for the public to see me. I also admit.............I don't feel bad about being so prone to recovery. I don't have to go out all the time anymore, and feel pretty happy about that.
I can say that Kevin and I both, were in need of a good night out, a good freak fest. And we got it. Tria, Knock, Twirl, Pure. We got it all !!!!!!! Sorry if we offended anyone, it's just the way it be.
Going to Atlantic City tomorrow, beach day and a little BlackJack. Good times good times.
Hope everyone is doing well and I will talk to you later sass.

Who am I ?

2008-08-06T09:26:00.002-04:00

I am really sorry that I haven't been around. Been getting back to life after work. My office moved so work and everything has been kicking my butt a little. Not feeling very organized. I am doing the Philly Distance Run again, it's in the middle of September, so training for that really picks up now. It's all good !!
I got this email, and man. thumbs up dude.

2008-07-27T10:45:00.000-04:00

Dina Martina.
Come see my show today, it's going to be fun, my friends are all coming....plus it's the lords day.

2008-07-27T10:42:00.000-04:00

the view from our deck !! captain jack's wharf.

2008-07-27T10:13:00.000-04:00

our phat deck......in the stormy gray sky ...

2008-07-27T10:03:00.000-04:00

it was also my birthday while we were away. My men got me a little party and we went off to see Dina Martina

2008-07-27T09:41:00.001-04:00

2008-07-27T09:41:00.000-04:00

Back from vacation. Trying to get good. It's tough when you've been on hold from the real world for over a week. We were in Ptown for 7 days.....and it was just wonderful, although a little less than heaven, because it truly rained for most of the time we were there. This was taken on Friday, the one truly sunny day we had.............we rented a little boat and went out on the water. Good times were had by all, i think all the food and alcohol will make it hard for me to fit in some clothes now, but hey. What else could we do at Paradise during a hurricane ?
More pictures. coming.

2008-07-16T07:19:00.000-04:00

the sand is dry and clean.
the air is crisp and cape-ish.
the memory is constant.
see you there and wish you were here.

2008-07-11T09:47:00.002-04:00

AN EMAIL FROM SEPHORA TO NATHAN:

Dear Beauty:
You're officially a beautiful blip on our birthday radar - 2 weeks to go! Be sure to get your Beauty Insider birthday gift, a generous 2.5 oz helping of Sephora Vanilla Cupcake Bath & Shower Bubbles. Now you can have your cake - and shower with it, too.
Pick up your present at your local Sephora or visit sephora.com.

So. I buy some of my things from Sephora. In fact I LOVE SEPHORA. I hate that I love Sephora, it's so so girlish and gayish....in the same breath...how can i live without Sephora. Ok ok, enough with the dramatics.

WHY NATHAN CANNOT FOCUS TODAY:

Provincetown is waiting for us to land very very soon. (we drive through the night and we drive because we have dogs to bring with us. we get there really early, like 10 am, and sit our butts down at Bubula's By The Sea and have cocktails until we can pick the keys up for our house)
This weekend is jammed full of fun. Almost more than I can handle. Tonight is a party and Chi Chi LaRue and Johnny Hazard are going to be there......it's a special invite only kind o thing and it's a lot of fun. It's for the Philadelphia Gay Film Festival. Tomorrow is a pool party and lots of bad behavior in Buck's County.
It's Friday.
We had an awesome night last night at the XPONENTIAL festival...sitting on the waterfront eating on the grass and listening to music. (some funky music....if you've never heard of the BLIND BOYS OF ALABAMA...google them. Gospel.)
I decided to try to train for the Philadelphia Marathon with a gaggle of people.
Kevin is cute.
It's sunny.

Thats all i know for now. Happy Friday Peeps....see you out and about....

Nate.

PS - Hugh E Dillion. check you tonight.

2008-07-10T07:25:00.000-04:00

we are family ! Love you meridith !

2008-07-10T07:22:00.000-04:00

It's just that kind of day. With so much to look forward to, and so much to do. i had to sit down and write some lists last night to get my head on straight and make sure EVERYTHING was taken care of....it helped me to feel more in control....I was feeling like my old brain was letting some small details go. Something I would not be good with................Ptown is moving closer to us and this weekend is jammed packed, starting tonight. Our summers are always so dense with stuff to do, and it's a little bit o wonderful.
Alright, off to work ladies.
Talk to you soon.

Bonum Creek / Kinsale, VA.......living easy !!!

2008-07-08T08:27:00.000-04:00

2008-07-08T08:23:00.000-04:00

2008-07-08T08:21:00.000-04:00

you say one thing, do another...

2008-06-30T08:06:00.002-04:00

Ah. Monday morning in Philadelphia. I ride my bike past the Liberty Bell, Independence Hall, and Washington Square Park to get to work. Some days I think about the history, often I do actually, and then a lot of days, I just let life steer me through the most historic places in America without a node to Ben Franklin. It is Monday after all, and I've alot to achieve. Nothing like establishing freedom or letting anything ring....but it's a job anyway.

Have a good day people and remember, no one likes slacker.

shhhhhhhhhh

2008-06-29T11:23:00.001-04:00

Meridith's apples.

Black and Gold

2008-06-26T09:06:00.003-04:00

10 things I love about you:

1. Anouk. & So You Think You Can Dance. There has been at on of blogging about Anouk’s song Lost. It is working me out. In such a beautiful, mind blowing way. So pretty. Check it out on Itunes. The afore mentioned show is amazing and fun…minus some of the loud commentary.

2. Summer. I love it and want it all year round. It helps me. It helps me breath easier. And fuller.
3. Running. I am full tilt running. It’s also helping me deal and be a better person.

4. Recognizing that where ever I go, there I am.

5. Jo Malone. Simply the best. If you don’t know what I mean, google it.

6. Beer Pong. This weekend when we went to Baltimore we played Beer Pong, as we did when we were in Vegas…..muchachos fun.

7. The promise of an Iphone. I will have one soon, one way or another.

8. Sam Sparro (in picture above). Not typically my kind of music, has a definite 80’s sound, which I sorta don’t love anymore, but he’s good, really gets me moving on my runs. Good stuff…..and gay and cute-ish.

9. Noah getting better. He was sick sick sick all week long. He ate a ton of mulch over the weekend (while we were playing beer pong) and we think the mulch had cocoa in it, which some mulches do. Cocoa is chocolate, and dogs and chocolate don’t go together very well.

10. Going to the movies alone. I went to see Indiana Jones last night, by myself, and had a fabulous time. (that little shia, he be hot-ish)

one smile and no body else will do

2008-06-23T21:08:00.003-04:00

In all my life. I've wanted to be on stage. All my life, i've been a major player in the movie in my mind. I've imagined every kind of trick and scene change you can put out there. It's all very true. And after all these years the bug is still biting me. Honest.

As a kid, I think acting and being on stage was a way out for me. I was an only child with a pretty nutty stage setting, and acting and stuff.....it was living a life I didn't have and that was fun.

Of course, now I know I have to live the life I've got, but I still play in my mind. Always theatrical, and always....always bigger than life.

I also think about what it would have been like had I gone to SUNY at New Paltz for acting, rather than SUNY at Plattsburgh for Psychology. Two contrasts, not much use mulling at this point. But I do.

So, the picture. It's from Broadway Bares....in NYC. I've always wanted to get up to NYC to see it, but never really made it. Not fair for me, but it's my choice to go or not to go. I know.

I think the picture stands for itself.

I am ready for my close up. For sure.

2008-06-18T06:57:00.000-04:00

get out of my way today lady friend. I've got a lot to do and it all started like this. in my bed. gun loaded and ready to blaze. so move aside and let the shit get done.

2008-06-17T14:42:00.001-04:00

Just a shout out to Shanon and Kotula and the rest of the crew. It was fun !!! Even though I left a day early, it was great to see everyone !!

but i can't see straight anymore

2008-06-16T09:02:00.002-04:00

Lady Ga Ga.

Have you heard that song yet ? Just Dance ???? THE song of the spring/summer. For me anyway, my feet get grooving and my ass starts moving.

Thats all i know.
oh.

And today is Monday and I can't wait until Friday already.

Straightjacket

2008-06-13T09:27:00.000-04:00

Something so benign for me construed as cruelty

Such a difference between who I am and who you see

Conclusions you come to of me routinely incorrect

I don’t know who you’re talking to with such fucking disrespect

This shit’s making me crazy

The way you nullify what’s in my head

You say one thing do another

And argue that’s not what you did

Your way’s making me mental

How you filter as skewed interpret

I swear you won’t be happy til I am bound in a straight jacket

Alanis M.

what would you do?

2008-06-11T08:29:00.000-04:00

Blistering heat the last week finally broke last night. Still hot inside, with no central air. We live in an ancient house, and have window units...which have been fine, but man !!!!!!!!!!!!
The new Alanis CD is by far my fave in a long long time. WOW.

all this grudge

2008-06-10T08:20:00.000-04:00

chhhhhhhhhheck it out. Mmmmmm. everyting es good, no?
hot as hell in Philly. I can't believe how much my body can sweat....and i don't mind it. I actually like running in the heat....so. off i go.

2008-06-09T07:56:00.000-04:00

2008-06-09T07:28:00.000-04:00

2008-06-09T07:27:00.000-04:00

2008-06-09T07:25:00.001-04:00

This was shot right before I jetted to get on the Amtrak on Saturday. By far, one of the coolest things i've seen. It's in one of the Smithsonian buildings. It's this cool ass pavilion in the portrait gallery. The glass on the ceiling is broken up into tons of little blocks. There is not one piece of glass that is shaped the exact same as another. The metal which holds the glass is full of recycled denim to absorb the sounds !!!! Totally cool !!!

2008-06-09T07:03:00.000-04:00

The metro in DC. I took this picture on Saturday afternoon. Pretty cool huh? I am not all that into subways and metro systems...but DC's feels like the hands down winner of the best one out there. So easy and so clean and nice and ..........................

this fountain of regret

2008-06-06T07:39:00.003-04:00

It takes a special something to be Josh Wald.....and to look like this. Is that the right name ??

Well anyway, so starts my fast and furious weekend. I look at it with a bit of adventure and excitment.......I can't stand the thought of a bus.....it's just that it costs $15, compared to Amtrak which is $72. Well, what can I say. I'd rather allocate that money to fashion. Thats all.

I slept like a champ last night, finally. After a week of not sleeping. The weather was perfect. I don't have much to say......talk to you all after the weekend !!!
the most,

nate

It's a Bitch To Grow Up

2008-06-05T21:32:00.000-04:00

I know. This picture has been all over the net in the last two days.....and i still could not help myself. COULD NOT. Um. I've been listening to his new cd for the last few weeks, inspiration and all that crap...and then this thing pops up. What the hell. Could i love it any more ? Jason Mraz ladies and gentlemen.

So. The deal...on life. I am looking forward, feeling pretty good, but tired a lot. Need nights to recoop and we've been so so busy lately that it's been hard to recoop. I guess I wouldn't have it any other way, but I find myself less and less attentive to myself. Which is not great for me ! I am aware of that.
So I am looking forward.
This weekend should be a blast. Taking the Chinatown bus to a destination for my annual Plattsburgh (undergrad) reunion of sorts. Every year we meet up in a city and have a weekend. I am cutting the weekend short and coming home on Saturday via Amtrak to go to some parties here in Philly, and we have a bunch of stuff to do on Sunday. It would be more fun to just chill away from here, but I just have too much going on to be away !!!!
Other than that, our Provincetown trip is set, minus the final payment. But our deck walks right onto the sand. Cannot wait. We usually go in August, but this year we're going earlier and we'll be there for my Birthday !!!! So much fun, and not enough time. Parties and dinner spread here and there, the summer is already on the way.

Mr. Philly Chit Chat, Hugh, himself, says my break from bloggin is over. I think he's right, hopefully things will go better and I will be in safe places without big bad baddies chasing me !!!

orange you glad i came

2008-05-29T09:26:00.002-04:00

Did you bring me a jift?

Our Ptown plans are slowly, but surely, coming together. It looks like our house is going to be right on the beach, with steps leading into the sand. Not under a dock, but onto the regular old beach !!!

This is our favorite favorite act....and if your lookin at the pic, you can certainly see how.

In other news.........I am almost done with Gossip Girl's last episode and I LURV IT !!!

That Serena VanDerWoodsen got herself into heap of troubles didn't she ? And will Dan please come stay in Philly at our house ?

building a mystery

2008-05-28T08:25:00.000-04:00

Is this thing on?

Oh, hello ? Well there you are !!!! Whats going on out there ? How is everyone ? I am doing well. Much more focused and ready to deal with some more BS thrown my way. It was a nice and rejuvinating weekend, getting away is the most fun ever. I also sorta came to terms with myself, in being able to see how the summer is right on top of us, and how great it's going to feel to be on the beach for a few months.
I also know that there are parts of me that I have to better investigate, hopefully that will unfold. And, enough with all that.

The trailer for The Dark Knight got me a little fluffed this morning. lookin good. I want so desperately to see Indian Jones tonight, but have a thousand things to do, so it'll have to wait.
Anyway kids, hope everyone is well and that things are just how you want them to be.
Wherever you go, there you are,
Nate

over there - - -

2008-05-21T08:05:00.000-04:00

A Year Ago.
This Memorial Day will be our 8 th Year Anniversary. Survived the 7 year itch and are doing great !!!! We met in Rehoboth Beach, and every year we head down that way for a weekend of total relaxation and a little bit of bar fun. Not too much drinking or partying though. And i can't wait. To just get there and have no worries for 4 days. Can't wait !! Gotta get out of here, and detach from the world i've known the last week and a half. Hope everyone has a great week leading up to a fun weekend !!!!
Nate

Details in the Fabric

2008-05-19T08:16:00.004-04:00

Last week was one of the worst weeks of my life. I can't go too much into detail....at all really, except that everything personally is fine. I tried to get out on Saturday and escape. The weekend was actually good, and provided a great deal of needed relief. Going into Monday morning, feels not good. We'll see, I might be taking some days off work this week.......or not.
Anyway, the party on Saturday reminded me what it's like to have fun again, coming back from Vegas, which was just ok, i found myself in a big fat rut. The party was a lot of fun and helped me get back to my center a little bit.
Anyway, more details and updates to follow, sorry for the lack of attention lately......
check out the title of this post, by Jason Mraz.....such a beautiful song.
Also, have you all listened to Duffy yet ? Real good !!!!!!!
Love you the most.
Nate

give it to me

2008-05-02T08:27:00.000-04:00

The days of the week have gone so so slowly. But Friday's here and all is well. A little blue, but ok. I also had, for the first time in a long long time, a drink or two last night on a week night. I feel funked today. Hate that. HATE IT. But last night was cause to have a couple glasses o vino.
Broad Street Run this weekend and then soon off for the bigish trip. Can't wait.

Bob comes tomorrow, so tonight taking it chill and looking for fashion.
Ideas ?
oh, and poor brooke white. Au Revoir sweetie !

2008-04-22T21:47:00.000-04:00

So. I go to apple.com/trailers to enjoy myself. Thats not all i do, but i do find a great deal of pleasure in checking out the new movies. This is a shot from The Strangers with Liz Tyler and Scott Speedman. It's chilly. Me likey.
Another interesting trailer is Blindness...with a whole slew of peeps, but Julian Moore is the lead, with Mark Ruffalo...also looks good.
anyway, thats all i know. Tomorrow I run 8 miles with Gary and Gerald. I am psyched to get it over with, so that i feel more confident with how i am doing with my training.
Good night.
Nate
I am so boring. I know. Sorry.

running for our lives

2008-04-21T08:21:00.000-04:00

so. i am in the mood for a tattoo. I am not sure what to get, thinking of that lion i posted a while back. What do you think ?

I ran 7 miles on saturday along a river in maryland. It was nice, hard because it was on gravel and i run on pavement....hot as hell, but i did well anyway. i did, much to my girlish yelp, encounter a snake. It was pretty long and was slithering across the path...horrible. I HATE SNAKES !
I am ok though.
Adonai.

spotlight on these seeds

2008-04-18T08:33:00.000-04:00

the green and white, clouds and flying. it's good. lady friends, it's all good.
we have so much to do around this here house of ours, but are chooosing to go have a lot of fun this weekend.
Thats all for now.

i'll give up everything just to find you

2008-04-16T09:14:00.002-04:00

Impressions.
I am impressed with my relationship lately.
I am impressed with my running capacity.
I am impressed with Mariah's new cd.
I am impressed with how grateful i feel that my work is giving us a bonus.
I am impressed with my general happiness.
I am impressed with how much I drank on Sunday in New Hope.
I am impressed that my 8 year anniversary with my man is about a month and a half away.
I am impressed with only having 4 Minutes to save the frickin world man.
Lastly.
I am impressed with "Into the Wild" actor Emile Hirsch.

Ridgley - out.

2008-04-10T07:12:00.000-04:00

The Broad Street Run. It's coming along, getting up in the mileage area, still need a little more to be where i should be, but thinking about running the loop this weekend.
The next month is totally fun and full. It's all good. Can't wait till we get moving on our vegas plans, as well as Kevin's fun trip into the Grand Canyon.
I am so busy at work, which is why posts have been limited. I sit here at 7am, trying to pound out something for you all, if it matters !!! The weather today is going to be almost 70, can't wait.
love you the most.
Nate

2008-04-07T09:41:00.000-04:00

Young Mr. Phelps is filling his .........career out with fabulous poses. Ain't he ?

wherever you go, there you are

2008-04-02T08:03:00.000-04:00

Yesterday was April Fool's Day. In the morning, I got caught in a freezing rain, while running through the streets of Philadelphia. I got in my car after a nice warm shower and was sitting with the window open in the car........it had stopped raining and was warm. Another car sped by me going the opposite way and splashed a puddle, which in turn splashed dirty shitty water all over my face, shirt and pants.
It was the start of a great day !!!!!!!!!
But, that was yesterday. Today's been better.
kisses.
nate

grab a boy

2008-03-25T13:55:00.002-04:00

i'm out of time and all i got is 4 minutes.

uh huh !

so i didn't love it at first.........howwwwwwwwwwever. I do now. much. it's going to be huge.... me thinks. 4 minutes = $$$$$$$.

and. thats all i know. I am feeling definatively strong in the spring light. Wanting to get back out there socially, which has been on hold for a bit. Just cause. We all need a break sometimes. But lately, i read Philly Chit Chat and i get a little green, i feel left out, and fully recognize that withdraw from the "scene" has it's cost. fewer invites to things. fun events. Anyway, easily built back up, which is the beauty of it all. We can make bridges in this envirionment, just as easy as I've blown them up.

ugh.

anyway. if you had your choice. where would you stay ?

Venetian (cheaper, great location, suites.....many were newly updated and renovated)

Bellagio (the top spot for some, beauty redefined....but the rooms are smallish and cramped and there is going to be 4 of us in a room)

Palazzo (the brand new place, shops and things are not totally done yet....some have reported this as the place to be, others have complained about it)

Wynn...actually, that is my first choice, but get this, they can't promise a room with two beds in it, we'd have to take our chance upon check in - are they serious ?

any other ideas ?????????????

movies of myself

2008-03-21T08:42:00.002-04:00

who knows where this is?

whats going on kiddo? I have been trying to keep up with life lately, so so busy it seems, but doing what ? who the hell knows. we don't really show up on the social platform too much lately, that should change some when the weather is nicer and we're not bound by the cold weather.

anyway, i ramble. Thank god it's Friday, and I only have three clients today, then leave half day, and going for an amazingly relaxing weekend !!!!!

Don't know what else.....hope everyone is well and am truly sorry for being such a lame lame blogger, will be better soon , I promise you. I do.

nate

we got stars directing our fate

2008-03-17T08:13:00.000-04:00

sand in my shoes. itch in my ginch.
ah. good weekend all around, really fun and cathartic, with good friends and good food. always a winning combo. And here is Monday. Great times.
So, does anyone who reads this go to Fusion - for training ? I am thinking of giving it a shot and wanna know what people think???

I wonder why you mean so much to me

2008-03-14T10:25:00.003-04:00

The sun. It's starting to get my head back into life. I think I posted this already, but this picture is fun. It's fun and it's us having fun. Low Tea in the Pines.....can't wait for more summer fun. We're headed to Ptown this summer......hopefully a few Fire Island invitations will be extended..............????????

This week was terrifying. Thursday I had a doctor's appointment cancelled, one that I was waiting for with a little bit of hope and a little bit of fear....anyway it was cancelled. Later that night I show up to get my little pick me up, a hair cut....finally deciding to cut off any of the moppy floppy hair............I get there and the little boy tells me that my cutter has the flu, CANCELLED. I started to get a little moisture in my eyes, so frustrated and hurt.....I rebounded though. And am doing great !!! Here is why:

Gavin Mikhail. I found his music this week, and I love it (it's not for everyone, moody and melodic, and sappy)
Brooke White. For many reasons. Her rendition of "Love is a Battlefield" made me spooge a little. Then this week, I realized, as she cried on the piano singing "let it be"...........that I NEED to LET IT BE. in my heart, i know there will be an answer..............so, she spoke to me this week and let me shed a little bit o heaviness.
planning the trip to Vegas and training for the Broad Street Run make life feel easy.
My friends and mother are amazing. Breath-taking. Thank you.
In the same note, my mother is a nut case right now, and she makes me feel sane.
Philadelphia is hosting a thing called the "Urban Race" and we are going to do it...it's like the Amazing Race, but in Philly. Can't wait.

Lastly, it's Friday and I feel happy to be here.

Got it? Good, now have fun this weekend and be good to yourself.

Nate

does it hurt ?

2008-03-06T08:40:00.000-05:00

I am not sure what to write to you right now. I've been sorta dealing with a lot this past week or so.....health things, which I won't go into, because the last thing I need to do is to devote more complusive thought process to this thing. Sorry i've been uninspired to write, trying to pull it together, and am feeling good about that today. So. Happy Thursday peeps!!
Is this hot to anyone else?

got a feeling it's too late

2008-02-26T12:35:00.002-05:00

I can't believe that more of the gays ain't ready to go with this dude. He performed last at the Oscar's on Sunday. Jon McLaughlin. He's pretty. and he's got pipes too. Can blow pretty well. I downloaded his cd (can i call it cd if it's from itunes???) a long time ago.

In any event, check him out, at least to look at him....sensitive little boy.

What else ?

Interesting things. At least for me. I just got an email from Kevin. And it's got me thinkin a bit. He tells me that he gave his business card to some guy we've met a few times. He saw him on the street. He wants to know how we know him and what the guy's name is, the guy proposed that we go to dinner with he and his bf (who we know quite well) .

The thoughtful part for me is this, and it has nothing to do with Kevin at all really, it' s me. I saw the same guy last week, and i kept to myself, knowing that we'd have something to talk about. I averted my eyes and didn't accept any further notion that we'd talk. A few years ago I promised myself to be more.....open, easy to talk to. People have always thought me to be snotty, but it's not the case...most of the time, well............some of the time. Anyway, Kevin will talk to anyone, he's good about that, he's usually less discriminating with his conversation than i am....but this case.....did they stop and just chat with pleasantries ?? Flirt a little perhaps (which is fine) or just say "HEY !!!"

I want to better at this, i do. Head up, and confident....ugh. Just smack me if you see me. Ok ? Ok !

CAN ANYONE HELP ???

2008-02-25T13:58:00.002-05:00

Can you help me get a copy of The Feeling's new release "Join With Us"?
It was released in the UK last week, and there is no information about when it will drop in the US. I tried everything I know. I even downloaded it from a UK store, but it is encrypted for Window's Media and won't transfer to an MP3 format. So i am stuck. Ideas?

do you have a jift for me ?

2008-02-21T12:04:00.001-05:00

Dina Martina.

Loverly. Just Loverly. So funny. A Ptown favorite. now in NYC.

she goes downtown, the boys all stop and stare

2008-02-19T11:36:00.003-05:00

New hair cut. It was like the heaven's opened up and said "Welcome home lady N". Seriously. I was trying, yet again, to grow that mop out and it was looking haggard. Of course my hair dude was dying for me to let it keep growing, but I just couldnt' hang. No way, no how. There wasn't really one person who said anything nice about it. Anyway, this is me right out of the salon.....and I have gay face. I know. But dont' really care. I dig the hair cut, makes me feel good again.

Onward and upward.

New Music Tuesday - Nothing, not a thing....well a few. Anna Nalick's new single "Shine" is a pretty good follow up to her first stuff......as well as Fischerspooner's new single "The Best Revenge," but i've had that for a while. It's good and the remixes are great.

So.

I might as well discuss this...see if anyone has ideas....well not even for that. Just to talk about something.....so as you know, in December I was feeling really sick......really bad. Of course, i've thought of the worst.

I was a mess pretty much all December, and have new respect for how people deal with fearing that sort of thing (hiv). Sobbing for like, three weeks straight. Kevin was amazing......I was messy. MESSY. Totally unreal.

However, my symptoms have not cleared. I am scared, unsure of what is going on. When I got sick in December my glands in my neck got all swollen, towards the end of Decmeber the glands near my collar bone got sore and biggish....they are like the shape of a string bean, along my collar bone. The doctor is not alarmed, but I am. The problem is that I have neck pain, and I am constantly aware of these tight, pinching glands....if thats what they are. They hurt, not in a "I need medication" way...just in a way that i am aware and it's slightly annoying. The back of my neck is sore, like i did a million crunches and my neck is sore from it. Glands in the rest of my neck are slightly swollen, not huge. I have been getting headaches more than not, and can get pretty tired, almost fatigued. Anyway, my doc sent me to a Ear Nose Throat doc....to check my neck out. I go next week, and nervous about it. I want to find out whats wrong, and am afraid the doctor is going to think i'm nuts.....thoughts??????

what do i know ?

2008-02-15T09:43:00.003-05:00

Here's what I have to say on Friday, hookers.

The video for Kayne West's "Flashing Lights" is so hawt. Check it out. The song is phat....ok enough with that.
The hottest M F'er on Big Brother, Matt, got a hummer last night on the video stream. I wish i wasn't at work right now.
Question for Doctors. If one's white blood count goes from 4.4 to 3.7 in a month, should there be concern ?
I broke down in laughter this morning because of Kevin and I. Let me preface this by indicating that my little poopie was JAMMED last night. Feeling bad, Valentine's Day was cornfusing for us. We'd decided not to spend $200 on dinner smooshed against some straight couple who didn't like us. But then, we felt a little depressed that we didn't make plans. Anyway, we hogged the hell out on some Spanish deliciousness, which immediately sent me into a food coma. ANYWAY. What i was laughing about was how silly we are. Two guys living together, basically the same size in clothes, presents problems. We don't like to share, so it's constant.....constant issues around that. And how silly is that? Even socks. SILLY Boys.
I am not impressed with Sheryl Crow's new cd. Not at all. I love her, love her. But this one let me down. Little Wyatt takes up her time now i guess.
Having said that. I love the new Simple Plan cd. Who knew?
For the first time, since ............Kelly Clarkson, i am watching American Idol. They seem to have redeemed themselves. No stupid singers this time.
Due to the food coma, i did not watch Lost last night. So shut your piehole.
My sissy is stirring. I am so so so excited for the new Indian Jones movie. Roll the soundtrack.

love you the most.

Ethel.

i'm going down

2008-02-14T08:44:00.001-05:00

The weather yesterday was unacceptable. Just not worthy of my time and energy. It zapped me, however I did run my ass off last night. Fast fast fast. Every time i get on the treadmill, i say...ok, this is my easy run, slow and easy. I end up doing intervals the whole time. It makes it go faster.....until i get to run outside anyway.

The weekends stories hugh ??? Not pretty. Mostly unpretty in fact. And usually i would beat myself up about it, but we've been so so good lately, and i just knew it would be a blow out. Friday night we all got cut off at a bar, and ended up home at 3AM. Saturday was slowish, getting up a little late, but we had the most fun. Triumph Brewery hosted for us and it was amazing. Unfortunately almost no one remembers the end of the night. It was well worth it though. The party was a success, if not a total blackout for everyone.

It's been decided. We're going to Vegas the weekend after the Broad Street Run in May. It's looking like we'll be staying at the Wynn. Love that hotel, and we decided to do it up right. Spend the extra money for the lux.

You Owe Me Nothing in Return

2008-02-08T11:34:00.000-05:00

Oh. Friday. how i love you, how i long for you when your not near me. I think of you in meetings, I think of you in the shower. And mostly i think of you when i wake up in the morning.

Yes Friday. It is you, who makes my head spin. It is you who gets my motor revving and you, who makes it all ok.

Thank god you are here, thank god you show me the way.

This weekend is going to be a blow out. A grand ole gay time. Bob and Dave, from Baltimore, are coming up...to celebrate their Birthdays. It's also Hilary and Gary's Birthday. Lots o fun. LOTS.

To celebrate, we're going to Triumph Brewery on Saturday around 7. See you there darlings. Come one, come all.

Open !

deep inside of you

2008-02-06T12:57:00.000-05:00

When we met light was shed

Thoughts free flow you said you've got something

Deep inside of you

A wind chime voice sound,

sway your hips round rings true

Echo’s deep inside of you

These secret garden beams changed my life so it seems

Fall breeze blows outside, I don't break stride

My thoughts are warm, and they go deep inside of you

Oh yeah

And I never felt alone

Alright, alone...alone

Till I met you

Third Eye Blind

__________

I wish this band would come back.

So so good.

Nate

it's always dangerous....

2008-02-05T14:08:00.000-05:00

nothing. not a thing. is going on. i took a test today to be a Certified Employee Assistance Professional. I passed. I am now considered a CEAP. Good times. It was actually a long test. It felt like it was never ending, and it took me a while to finish. This girl next to me had this horrible sniffle going on, and she was so so nervous. I don't think she passed whatever test she was taking because she didn't look so good when she left.
Anyway - hope all is going well for everyone.

2008-01-31T09:55:00.000-05:00

do you remember when Mariah Carey lost her mind in front of the world a few years back. I thought there was no way that girl would be seen again.
I am speechless about Britney. There isn't much to say, because it is so so sad. I just watched something from this site. x17online.com, and i cannot believe how insane she is acting. I can't figure it out though. What is the issue, drugs or mental status ??? I think it's more than likely a dual diagnosis, but she is really exhibiting some strong criteria for Bi Polar or something more serious. Strange, and sad.
And I love Blackout. -------------------------------

box full o honey

2008-01-31T08:41:00.000-05:00

devasting polaroids.

good morning, good morning to you

2008-01-30T10:07:00.000-05:00

v. bait·ed, bait·ing, baits v. tr.

To place a lure in (a trap) or on (a fishing hook).
To entice, especially by trickery or strategy.
To set dogs upon (a chained animal, for example) for sport.
To attack or torment, especially with persistent insults, criticism, or ridicule.
To tease.
To feed (an animal), especially on a journey.

Sometimes other people, often those who we love and care for, will say things to get a reaction out of us. When someone does this to me, I say that they are baiting me. Baiting me to respond angrily or emotionally because that is how they are feeling.
Lately, I've come to a better understanding of how this happens to me, and more importantly, how I handle it.
In my lifetime, my general response to being baited, is to react emotionally - to blurt back and show general anger (often times my anger produces a character similar to our stereotypes of a very loudmouthed trucker). I step right in the trap and get caught, stuck, and bleeding out mean words and resentment.

Over two weeks ago something happened and I realized that a calmer response, or no response at all is best. It makes all the difference for me. It will take me time, but someone once said to me....."We're looking for progress, not perfection" !!!!!!!!

I also realized something else. I can only do 50% of that work. I take ownership of not falling into the trap. The other 50% is that the other party has to avoid the baiting to begin with. Otherwise the job is only half done.

So eat it girls.

And darlings.........just work with me.

Nathan !!!

2008-01-28T08:31:00.000-05:00

i love it when you call

2008-01-28T08:29:00.000-05:00

The Feeling. Check them out !!!. and the one in the middle...he's gay gay gay !!! and very purty.

flowery faggggggg

2008-01-28T08:22:00.000-05:00

in times of cold, blustery days.....where nothing is warm, except your mans booty.....think of the less frigid days and be happy !!!!!!!!
without the walking cast.

i never was a cornflake girl

2008-01-25T09:03:00.000-05:00

firstly. is that a pair of socks ? Secondly.....I might want to be this boy. Just maybe. I posted it mostly though because that is what, sorta, I am going for with my hair. I like it. I do.

Onto some other things. First. Heath Ledger's dying has been oddly terrifying. It's really made me feel really bad, and it's kinda the first time i felt some pings of grief for a celebrity type. I just cannot believe it. That's all i am going to say though, everything is about him right now and I don't want to over-saturate.

The other thing I want to point people towards, if anyone reads this anymore....is a group who I love. They are pop-ish, but just all around hot. The Feeling. They sorta jumped on the mainstream radar last year...they have a new CD coming out. If you google them for myspace, you can listen to some of their new stuff. Good stuff. That's all i know.

Hope your day is great !!

Nate

4 PM is towing time

2008-01-24T11:14:00.000-05:00

You all have tivo, or some form of it. Please. Please tivo this show. Parking Wars. It's on A & E. Kevin and I are getting hours of fun from it. If you live in Philly, it's almost life or death if you choose to ignore this show. It follows workers of the dreaded Philadelphia Parking Authority (lovingly called the PPA).
It's one of the most fun 30 minutes you can stand. Honest. The people who work there are only 1/4 of the fun. It's customers of the PPA that make it worth it. People loose their shit. The PPA is notoriusly aggressive in their ticketing, and it's pure - painless hilarity at the cost of others.
And here is why I am writing this post.
1. Because I love you all.
2. Because this morning when I got on the train, one of the PPA people on the show was standing next to me. She was the doll who sits and counts down until 4pm so that she can ticket cars to be towed because they are parking in spots that turn over to tow zones at exactly 4pm. She sits, and waits and counts down until it is exactly 4pm, not a second later and starts moving. Can you stand it?

Remind me to talk about Erik Rhodes when i get a second.
Ok?
later upper east siders.

Long-ish

2008-01-23T15:35:00.000-05:00

As a child in a small town, I was not known for my great athletic abilities. Nor was I known for being quiet. I was loud and drew a lot of attention, a skill which sometimes hurt, sometimes helped. Nevertheless, my behavior often brought a certain amount of trouble for me.
Anyway, the athletic thing was tough. I desperately wanted to fit into things, wanted to be a part of almost anything that was going on (being an only child with a nutty home life made activities a survival tool). I just wasn't good at anything. Running was one of those things. I was horrible and was often trying to get out of the annual 3 mile run we had HAD to do. Mostly sitting on the sideline with Dorinda B. or Marta B. The gals.
So sad. I cited asthma and knee pain a lot of the time, but it didn't always work with our gym teacher. And i was forced to run, or do a "make up run". I hated it so so much.
And it makes it so much more dramatic to talk about running the NYC marathon this year. I want to, very much. The thought of it makes me wanna puke, not only thinking about the length of the marathon, but because of the anxiety it produces. I've run 10 mile races and one half marathon. I know i'll be able to do it, but it's exhausting just thinking about it. It's a goal though. We have to put in for the lottery to get into it, but I am going to try my ass off. So, if you see me running, know that my goal is more than likely on my mind and send some good thoughts my way !!!

the chick in the middle, not looking good

2008-01-22T14:47:00.000-05:00

Cloverfield. Thumbs up from Nate. A definitive down from Kevin (through his vomit)

The movie is shaky, hard to watch at times. Kevin got sicky to his tender little tummy due to motion.

I loved it, thought it was great, and admit that it was hard to watch at times. It's a tough call. At the end of the day, it doesn' matter what the reviews say. That hooker of a movie made some mad duckets at the box offfice.

you'll turn to stone

2008-01-22T10:33:00.000-05:00

The other day I was walking down the street and playing a little game of self pity. It was futile, as it usually is. But this one was pretty funny, if i do say so myself.
I was lamenting the fact that I want to go away and be warm for a hot minute. Then i started to complain in my head how i never get to go anywhere. Which quickly became a game of reality testing.
In 2007 I went to the following places:

Fire Island
Las Vegas
San Diego
New Orleans
NYC
Montreal
Ft. Lauderdale

Somewhere around this time i began to smack myself in the head with a parking meter and say self destructive things to myself in an effort to allow me to be grateful for what i gots !!!
it worked, i was/am grateful for the travel.
And, I want to go overseas.
And, I want to be in a warm place right now.
You can, my little ladies, have your cake and eat it too.
It just takes time and patience and a tiny little bit of bruising on your head.
Love you the most.
Nate

PS - jared leto above, just because i haven't seen his hotness in a while - he poofed up at Sundance. Doochebag all in tow, he's still smokin.!

Two Figures by a Fountain

2008-01-14T08:44:00.000-05:00

Yes it won last night. However, I am posting about it because we went to see it last night. Atonement.
I read the book, so i knew what to expect, but I really had no idea how much it would blow me away. It was such a visually beautiful movie. I just could not get over how stunning it was. The shots were all so intense. All three main characters, Cecelia, Robbie and Briony were outstanding. James McAvoy came out of no where, as far as I am concerned, and blew that screen up. Not a traditional Hollywood hunk.....at first glance, but he convinced me otherwise by the end of the movie. Go see the movie. It's great !!! The other thing which was breathtaking was the score. It was the fourth piece of the movie which made it all worth it.

yes sir, yes sir !!!!

2008-01-11T14:36:00.000-05:00

I don't' have Showtime, nor do I have any of the premium movie channels...so I waited with much patience and a thumping in my body in several locations for The Tudors to come out with their first season on digital modes. It is here. I am thoroughly excited for this. On my way to work today, I watched part of the first episode on my Ipod. Smokin hot. That's all I can say. All of them....well most of them. I am also slightly obsessed with period types of things...It' s so mesmerizing to me.....the fact that before the King would "take" a girl...he would ask "do you consent?" What he meant to say is that if you don't consent, your as good as dead......so, do you consent ????
All I can say is HELL YEAH !
That little Henry Cavill......
I also have a lot to say and think about for Mr. Johnny. I just hope he's doing well !!!

humility on bleeker street

2008-01-10T09:43:00.000-05:00

Some jumps, some hurdles are just not meant to be easy.
Hmpf. But it is Thursday, isn't it. One more day in this long long week.

Last night I watched the third movie in those Pirates of the Caribean movies. I gotta tell ya, I liked it a lot. It sorta washed out with critics, but it was highly entertaining. Now, I'm not much in the way of...."oh it has to be artistic" or "it's too blockbuster for me". I like the blockbusters and I like the little ones too, all i'm sayin is that it was fun. It diverted me for a while....for a whole 2hours and 49 minutes. It was a long long movie.

I feel like being social this evening. I want to do something fun and/or nice. i dont' want to hole myself up in the house anymore. I've started back at the gym and am feeling good about that. I'm also getting this stupid mop on my head cut tonight. Should I shave it off? I love having buzz cuts. I do.
Anyway, thats all i know for now. chat wit ya all later. Hopes it all good.

aude

2008-01-08T10:47:00.000-05:00

The New Year. Ah.

What does it feel like for you? For me ? It's been real odd, really oddistic. And I've had enough of odd. For now anyway. I've been missing from the gym, need a hair cut and eating like a mother f*&^#@.

All bad bad things. The hardest part is getting back on track. But i've got some goals, some direction and i've got to get it on. Thats it.
Kevin is doing great and so is Noah. Things are good and we are fortunate in so many ways. The only thing that bothers Kevin is that I actually own a hat, that looks similar to the one in this picture. It drives him mad. Somehow i suspect if i looked like this dude it wouldn't matter to kevin what the hell i was wearing. Anyway, if you use Itunes, go to the dance section of the music portion of Itunes (because they ain't just sellin music, in case you didn't notice) and they have an area that is called "Tracks to make you sweat" I plan to use that as a medication. To motivate and move to. Thats all .

enjoy. and love you the most.

till the fat lady sings

2008-01-04T15:04:00.001-05:00

I am almost ready again. Just starting to feel as though I can breath again. Tune in for me soon ladies.
Love,
Nate - alie.

holiday

2007-12-28T11:07:00.001-05:00

Diggin this photo of Mr. Law. He be hot. Only reason for posting that pic is becursse i likey like.
Anyway, going to gamble a little bit this weekend, and the most annoying thing is that I can't get onto any Black Jack sites here at work, totally frustratin. Totes. When we went to Vegas I got the best little cheat sheet for Black Jack. I'd like to be able to find it, but i can't . Very annoying that i lost it, wonder if Kevin has his.
Anyway, sorry for the mundane post, I am fudging my way through another Friday, only a two day work week, which is totally fab, but still not looking forward to work on Monday already !!!!!

Hope everyone has a great weekend, and that you take care of yourselves. It's a tough thing to remember to do that during the holidays. It sometimes seems like other things take priority, but we can't do it all. (we skipped two parties this week because we knew we couldn't handle it)
hope everyone is well and we'll talk more on Monday.
Love you the most.
Nate

2007-12-27T15:35:00.000-05:00

Not really. Not really into this New Year's Eve. Can' t say why, other than the fact that I feel bad, physically. Not totally feelin better since a few weeks ago when my mom was here. She also got a cold, a real bad cough and laryngitis............it seems like we caught the same thing, although i have a sore throat still. I am definitely not myself. Going through another round of antibiotics to hopefully kick this crap. Our Christmas was totally wonderful and relaxing. Going to Kevin's parent's house is nice at the holidays. I just wasn't myself, so I feel bad that it might have impacted kevin's mood while we were there, but I tried to be cheerful. Kevin has off for the whole week and I have to work which is slightly annoying !!!!!!!
Sorry to be Debbie Downer, it's just not my good place right now. No way around it. Hopefully working out tonight will lift me up a bit.
Hope everyone is good and had a safe Holiday !!!!!

Stay Down mother f#@er

2007-12-21T16:13:00.000-05:00

(Stay Down) We're almost to the very best part.
(Stay Down) You'll always be the pride of my heart.
(Stay Down) We too can past the test
(Stay Down) Yeah we got a lot of work.
(Stay Down) I know it ain't been the best but it certainly ain't been the worst.
(Stay Down) The drama will not last forever
(stay down) we'll beat it as long as we're together.
One day we'll look back on this , we'll be like 'remember this?'
and it's gonna make us smile 'cause in the end we stayed down..

hit the floor

2007-12-21T09:21:00.000-05:00

Last night.

Was fun.

Holiday cheer and close-ish friends. Got a little buzzed and ate about 15 little brie and raspberry wontons. So frickin good. I really spent a lot of time in my head last night. It was fun. I just observed a lot and enjoyed my-self. I noted a few things.

Another couple we know, they've immersed themselves in almost every social network available. It's skillful and fun to watch as I'm always amazed at how ambi dextrious they are at flipping through circles.

Also, we were donned Philly's most attractive couple, by someone who'd been drinking since lunch time. LOL.

toobadsosad.

Also what i learned. Our friend BD has big balls. Good times.

Oh - Duran Duran newest is funfunfun.

And Mary J. AggressiveBlidge's new cd is fairy good, fairy good.

2007-12-20T13:54:00.001-05:00

I will wipe that smirk right off your face mr. Get in this office right now !!!!!!!!