i'm flippin with a coin thats got a tail on either side

Oh mr jake shears. If you are reading this, and happen to be anywhere in these United States, please come to philly and hang out with me. I would be so fun and nice, and totally interesting to talk to, unless of course you didn't want me to be interesting, in which case i could just um......you know, lie there. and be entertaining, yes thats what i would be is entertaining, in a very discreet way, because i know you were depressed while making Ta-Dah and you like discreet quiet times, as well as wild stripper kinda times. Which would you prefer....just....just, oh I love it when you call. I love it when you call, but you never call at all.!
Love always -
your thousand word man - nate

it's the hammer that they have.

If you see kevin today. It's his birthday. Say hi, say happy and say so sad...to be so old. HE heheheheh. kidding, and he is so young.! at heart...no really, i jest. i jest.
happy day everyone, and happy birthday kevin. Love you and hope friday is fun.
Smooches. from Hooches. 

for there is nothing that we can't do

 

bah bah black sheep

 

it's not so bad, it's not so bad

looking back, i can see the exact moment things turn. It's this moment, some call it the tipping point, some just call it "the moment", whatever you choose to call it, i am becoming obsessed with it.

IT is the split second your life changes, IT is the decision which could have gone either way. Gwen Paltrow was in a movie called "Sliding Doors", which detailed what happened to her character in both choices she makes.....IT is fun to look at, and fun to realize IT's importance. So many times, the decision or choice is made for us.....but when IT comes to us...which way do we go.

When your standing outside someone's door and you hear them talking about you, so many things can happen as a result of either walking through that door, or to walk away from it. IT grows from that point, like a vein.

Years ago the moment my ex boyfriend leaned over across the passenger side car and kissed the man who was driving the car....i could have stayed silent in my car as i watched from afar, or i could have gotten out of the car and confronted him. IT was that moment i decided to get out of my car and confront. Things were set in motion at that moment.

I am fascinated with IT. I try to realize when i am in these split seconds...and understand, that IT means everything.

I know you well, I know your smell

What do you think of him? He's in People's sexiest men alive issue, as an "International Sexiest Man". Something striking about him. I say.

Apparently so do the folks at People.

Moving along.

My friend Marco gave me some of this stuff called http://www.prevageskin.com/, and it's great stuff..to apply before I put on moisturizer for skin repair..fine line stuff. I know. At this age I've started to garner interest in "fine lines" skin care. Just shut up.

Anyway - it was free since he works at a fancy pants department store in NYC...stuffs expensive. Now I am looking for an alternative to that, something momma can afford. I am looking to you dear readers to give me some suggestions, anything you've tried in the past that you really like? I was going to try Anthony Skin Care products...what do you think?

Yesterday on Ellen, James Blunt performed his single, GOODBYE MY LOVER. His performance was so so so haunting and emotional. Check out youtube to see if it's on there somewhere. so so good !!!!

In honor of that....lyrics to make you bleed.

Did I disappoint you or let you down?

Should I be feeling guilty or let the judges frown?'

Cause I saw the end before we'd begun,

Yes I saw you were blinded and I knew I had won.

So I took what's mine by eternal right.

Took your soul out into the night.

It may be over but it won't stop there,I am here for you if you'd only care.

You touched my heart

you touched my soul.

You changed my life

and all my goals.

And love is blind and that I knew when,

My heart was blinded by you.

I've kissed your lips and held your head.

Shared your dreams and shared your bed.

I know you well, I know your smell.

I've been addicted to you.

Goodbye my lover.

Goodbye my friend.

You have been the one.You have been the one for me.

Most love,

Nate

Sorry, for the simplistic gay content over the last few days. I can't help myself.

Today though I have an excuse, I just came from the dentist. I want to know what goes on in that mouth of mine, what is he doing as he pokes and pulls and drills and squirts?????? What I know is that if I were alive in the 18th century, I would have no teeth in my head. I have the worst choppers eva.
Anyway today I got a retreat on a root canal i had done three years ago. It hurt. I've had my fair share of root canals, but this one hurt and it took forever. But i wish he would tell me what he's doing as he is foraging in my mouth.
Currently I have three teeth doctors looking after me. An Endontist, A general Dentist (what are they called) and a Peridontist (for crown lengthening). I HATE IT. I get so nervous and anxious and then it hurts. What makes you want to be a dentist anyway? What gives?
Not to mention, I have recurring dreams of my teeth crumbling out of my head, about once a month, for as long as I remember, and I wake up so afraid that I no longer have teeth.

Buy me some Blue Bandana Gonches to make me feel better please.
and thank you ahead of time.
Nate

Go or Go Ahead

nowhere's now here

i'm just glad i'm on your good side

Much to my surprise, I logged onto my blog today and found that i had to update to a new beta version......which also loaded 6 comments that people had been leaving over the course of a few weeks.......and i was so so so happy. You see, with this thing, you never really know who is reading or if what i am saying means anything to anyone.....and, well without comments it gets a little ........frustrating. It's nice to hear from people.
So thank you for comments, past and future.
As i mentioned in the last post, we had fun Saturday, minus my breath....which created much self doubt - to some extent, i mean the etoh took over at a certain point, which was fine.....but the party and the people were great.
So interesting to see things change. When we moved here we had a set of friends and after 5 years the face of our circle has changed, and even now...the folks we've been hangin with of late are new friends, and it's interesting to see the quirks and strengths of each of these guys show themselves.....I saw a few quirks saturday night, as did they see some of ours, i am sure....it's refreshing, thats all i am tryin to say. Tres bon.
um...we have a slow week ahead of us, which is ok...sorta needed i guess, i want to go see a few movies, paint some walls in our house, so it's good.
Saturday night we've been invited to 3 parties...i'd like to hit them all, but who the hell knows if our old asses can handle that ??

alright - have a fun !
ps- who 's the smart ass who asked in the comments where i got my hair cut???? show yourselves.

let it slide

zee paparazzi.
last night we went to two parties. and then two bars.
My boyfriend, once upon getting to the second party, indicated that my breath smelled like dog shit.

End of story. 

does he know how to wind you up?

I will assume all is right in your world today. I hope it is, things feel ok in mine. Ok, not amazing, but ok.
which is nice. not wonderful, but nice. Last night was sorta bitter for me....and i am going to tell you about it. Have a seat, maybe on this dude's seat, or you can sit on your own if you so choose.

After work, we had a "session" and then ran over to the Launch party for some restaurant/bar, called XIX (19 for those who don't do roman numerals)...anyway, it was very classy and very very special.....I can't tell you how nice this place was, and how good the crowd, food and drink was......and yet, i felt like a pile of shit. I was wearing my work clothes still and was wrinkled and messy looking....it felt horrible...and to top it off...to top it off !!!!! There is this woman. This woman, whom I want to punch in the forhead....she is a living, breathing nightmare. She looks like an overweight ogre (mind you ogre's are fat by nature). Her nose sorta tilts up, in a piggish style, and she wears oddly fitting clothes..this is harsh and mean, and these days I am trying to give up being a faggoty bitch - but jeeeeeeeezus....she drives me nuts. She is affected in her speech and tries to relay a constant feeling of "your less significant than me" to those whom she talks to....always about money and what she's accomplished....ANNNNYway - she loves kevin, loves loves loves kevin. She actually knocked me off balance by bumping into me once to pass me and hug and fawn over kevin. She was shit faced last night and I basically had to leave because she put me in such a fowl mood. and i felt full, like a tick. and fat. and i hate food !!!!
Bitter, in oh so many ways. I want to go back there tonight though....and play pretty. join us.
alright sally, see ya later.
have fun and be good.

hush just stop, there's nothing you can do or say, baby

i know. i am very very gay. i definately like boys. i am a boy who likes boys. i like hairy legs wrapped around mine. i like a nice facial scrub when i kiss my mate.

i also like britney spears and her ability to make me want to dance and shake that shit.

i am waiting girl. waiting.
for.
it.

neight.
the.
gr8t

P.S.- i also like the blond boy in the background of this picture, with his bottom lip all curled and screeching like a 13 yr old pubescent girl. in his nice turtleneck. and highlighted hair.

down the lane

Hmpf. This was the end of my weekend. Nice game of bowling and a sinking self image as I ate nice corn dogs and tater tots. I have lost all confidence in my gains from over the summer, and i can't stop eating. can't stop. 

The One Where Nate Has to Get His Shit Together

bottome line.
I have to get my shit in order. Get myself together. The last month has been less than zero. No questions asked. And it's well past due for me to organize and stop being so passive about my development. This weekend started out strong. Went to see "Running with Scissors" on Friday night and ate dinner.....that was that. I awoke Sunday afternoon with some vague recollections of Saturday night.
What i can see through this blurry mind of mine is being at a late night party and some guy was laying across my lap and those of us who were sitting on the couch. He was all comfy and cozy and completely butt naked. I can't seem to seee more than that though, so have no idea what the hell was going on. At any rate, this exemplifies why Nate must get his shit in order.
I also have fallen off the fitness wagon. The fitness AND food wagon. Since Kevin and I have been.........reconstructing, well since the original deconstruction (when i wasn't eating a damn thing), I now eat anything and everything that comes across my pudge fat face. At the beginning of this I also couldn't get up that much energy to push it at the gym. As a result I feel terrible. Horrible. Although I don't weigh anymore, I know that the muscle mass has depleted...this summer people were telling me how i was BLOWIN up...in a good way....in a muscle way. Now.....well now Nate has to get his shit together.
And
I don't know how to do it.
I feel confused on how to regain my life....Mind you, i'm not sad or depressed...just confused. Like a rat in a maze......
Oh, and Noah puked on the rug i bought for the bedroom. It won't come out or up....i hate that.