Friday, September 30, 2005


blake is still my favorite, but the dude on the right, jamie, he spotted my eye last night.....and this picture.
how about it.?

if i was not me, i would hate me too.....

I can't
I won't ......

tell anyone what that device is below until i get one damn comment in my comments section.
don't you want to help me?
Help me find a way.

So screw you all....read my blog and all and then just ignore when i ask for responses.? ! WTF. I just need some validation, some recognition in this blogosphere, that i don't do this for my own slit

wrists..or maybe i do. I still say you owe it.

nuff said bitches.
Something about the fall makes me feel all tingly inside. I find more perks in the little things. Like driving in the car.
By meself.
Music blaring and thumpin' like i'm all that.

really. i mean it. There is nothing like listening to a new cd by yourself in the car with a damn good sound system to back it up. even the ipod or home stereo system don't compare to that. and a crisp chill makes it all the better.

moving right along...today i thought of something. a memory through some gin and tonics. at the party last friday night...a hand on my man's pillow. i remember it. and we were asked to come to someone else's house after that first party. we declined. better decision making skills already. good for us. those after parties where it's only one other couple, or person. they onlyl make for bad decisions.

and yet there's more. i also was reflecting on the movie maker and the salt shaker. and it still stings on some levels. for me to have broken that leg so easily. messy natalia.
thats me.
going to Virginia for the weekend.
thats all i am saying.
pretty pictures and things like that. Kevin is very excited, to see his family and eat till his little tummy bursts.
hey
speaking of tummy's and bad decisions. those brownies kevin made were fucking fan tas tik.

Thursday, September 29, 2005

name that tune ....... hooker



who can tell me what this is?
the name.
and it's use. quick quick.

Tuesday, September 27, 2005

the catcher and the pitcher and the right fielder

in the last two years i have gone to a Phillies game twice.
Last night was one of those two times.
It poured last night.
It poured last year when I went.




And well, the Baseball Gods play this game when it rains. They make everyone sit and wait for at least two hours before they actually call the game and reschedule it. Therefore promting everyone to eat ten pouds of hot dogs, fourteen pieces of pizza, and at least three ice cream cones.....while they wait for the game to be called.
I would have gone home within the first twenty minutes.
Kevin did not see it that way. And to his credit, he was like a little kid, so frickin cute, so excited and ready to watch. So we stayed.
and stayed.
and ate.

Our tickets were behind the Phillies dugout in the third row. We could smell the sweat, men and hormones. The game was supposed to start at 7pm. It started at 9:50PM.
You should also know that I am sick right now, a slight fever and terrible sore throat. Haven't been taken care of myself i guess.
So last night we were really lucky to have gotten free tickets that were so close. We stayed until 11:30. I feel like shit today. But my boyfriend's happy.

To note: Kids at baseball games are all overwieght. And always have a soft pretzel or hot dog in their hands. I could not believe it. It was sorta terrible. to see them eating and being so big. I mean, the adults were a hefty group too, but the kids man. Unacceptable.

To note: There are several hot men on the Phillies team. There are also some on the Mets. It was nice to watch that....they spit a lot, and yell when they get upset...but their cups really make you wonder.
Take Pat Burrell in this here picture. He's one hot mother f@#er. I sure bet he could hit that ball right good.

Least I forget though, I have a sore throat and slight fever.
I can't get too worked up.
Maybe, just maybe kevin can buy some sort of baseball uniform. you know, to wear around the house..........and run around the yard....if we had one.


the void Posted by Picasa

East Village basement love


Double Happiness Posted by Picasa

So on Saturday we all got together in NYC. It was great. As I said before, some of those people I had not seen since around 1985 or so. Nuts huh?
And we fit. We all fit so well and i feel great about that.
We went to dinner at Il Cortile....amazing. The food was off the hook and we laughed of old times, and celebrated new ones.
After that it becomes a bit foggy. We went to this bar, Double Happiness. Cool hangout in the basement, lo lighting and hot crowd.
Then we went somewhere else, didn't stay and then ended up at Urge on Bowery...i think thats where it was.
I got cut off there, and Gina fell down the steps.
And Jess burned her finger nail lighting a cig for some drag queen.
And we all could not believe the cock and balls on one go go dancer. A virtual elk in his pants.
Good times, Good times.

Friday, September 23, 2005

i've been sleeping on half of my bed lately

So.
This
Show
Is
Fucking
Beautiful

I watched my tivo'ed episode last night before Survivor came on. And I was ready to explode with joy, lust, and inappropriateness.
Its so bad and raw and disgusting on so many levels that I can't get enough. If you don't watch NIP/Tuck then you are missing out my friends. Please turn it on and be happy with me and for me. Last night they had a woman who had been sitting on her couch for three years and her skin had grafted into the fabric of the couch. She was ENORMOUS and totally gross. Poor thing. Watch it. She died. I love Kimber, and sort of want to be her.
Moving right along. I was also so pissed off last night I could barely see straight. It was bad. As indicated by the empty bottle of wine i saw on the end table this morning when i woke up on the couch at 4:30 am. yes i self medicated last night. shut the f up.
To date I am still pissed as we've not settled the issue at hand. And we have to go to a party tonight at 6. Loads of fun.
Actually I am hoping that it will be fun. Its a beautiful house. with lots of shiney things and twinkles. No not the gay. The fixtures.
Oh, also. The empty bottles of beer on the end table can tell you how pissed I was.

Moving along even further. I have seen 5 clients today. the first four were consecutive. Four staight hours of talking about a haberdashery of problems. Therapy is fun for the therapist too. But sometimes when the therapist is not in a good space it's harder to be fun. or have fun. but i did today, its fun to help people and be smart. It suites me well. and fine.

Thursday, September 22, 2005

I cannot stop eating.
Send Help.
Nate

Tuesday, September 20, 2005



I know I risk being labeled the queerest of the queer (which by Shirley Mansion would be ok with)
I have to talk about this movie.
Memoirs of a Geisha.
I read a lot, and when I dig a book, well I really dig it, i live it, i breath it, and i start to process things the way i think the character may.
A couple years ago - 5 to be exact, I read this book....I was in heavy reading mode since I commuted to NYC and back every third day......anyway, i lived this book.....no idea why? The whole Asian theme is intense for me.....incense, bamboo, caligraphy...it's special (not to mention dumplings.....me and mariah man, we could live off them...........but i shan't get too stereotypical) It just clicked with me and I have long since been looking for this movie, although realistically know that it will more than likely pale in comparision. I still anticipate it and look optimistically forward to it. The 6'2 Geisha that i am.

Anyway - this weekend we went to happy hour on Friday, was nothing special and then went to bed kinda early. Saturday night was another story all together. It was one of those nights where I wake up the next day and have a sense of ..............well a sense of doom in some way. Like....i know that something was not right, that one of us did something wrong, but can't really remember what it was. That feeling is with me....even still. I....can't....................remember. It was a long night, went to an after hours party...got home with the sun presenting itself to the day.........................too damn old for that crap.

Moving right along, we are going to a party on Friday night, it will be nice, we always have fun at this party.
Then on Saturday someting interesting. About 7 of my friends from High School are meeting in NYC for some fun. Have not seen one of them in about ....well since 8th grade.......holy shit. I can't believe it. It will be documented here next week, no worries. Maybe some pictures too if your good.

Which brings me to my next point.
Does anyone actually read this? Or is it soley mine.? i know some read it, but not too many. How can i get my readership up? Let me know what you think. If anything. Would that be ok?
Natie

Friday, September 16, 2005

save me momma



Last night was the premiere of Survivor: Guatamala. I am sorta fixated on Blake as seen here. He's a model or something in real life, but on the show he is totally screwed. Every season all the hot men disappear. They just seem to get voted off immediately. Same with Blakey here. In the first picture, Blake is seen puking his beautiful little face off. In the first ten minutes of the episode he got hammered with some sort of branch from a tree ---- this branch looked like a torture device from ancient mayan times. the branch pierced his shoulder and since that moment he's been sick and miserable.....if not cute at the same time (in the pukin picture he's actually wearing his underwear...oiy) Scenes from next week show him totally sick and I can only assume he's headed to tribal council to get booted off. But then again Survivor tries to mislead us into thinking who it is, so he'll probly not get booted.....here's to hopin.

Thursday, September 15, 2005

inked



givin my state of mind...i just thought it was the right thing to do.

sweatin in the spirit




I cant possibly make you understand how i felt today, there is just no empathetic review i could give to make you be in my shoes. By the time i got to work i was saturated with my own putrid sweat and so frustrated that i could barely stand. Normally i am ok with sweating, as a matter of fact..... sorta like it after a hard run, or good workout.......but today i was dressed, smartly, in my work clothes and looked like i had just done the above gospel workout while in said outfit.

I ran to catch the bus as it passed me and shit myself when it just kept on going. Apparently they moved the bus stop across the street and don't stop to alert anyone to it, they just keep going by..... as though i was waiting for my limo to stop and gleefully bring me to my destination, (which was my job). Anyway - i walk about 10 minutes, with actually water falling from my brow and collecting on my arm hair....a bus finally comes and i scoooootch on it trying to maintain a nice pleasant attitude. I finally get to my destination, which happens to be our subway system in philly. Yes kids, I have to now take a train to work.

When i was employeed at a different hospital they did this special thing called Tranist Chek. You pay $30 out of your paycheck, they match it and give you the special Transit Chek worth $60. It was pre tax and fabulous. However, during the spring summer and fall i would ride my bike to work and not use my transit chek. when i left that job i had at least $450 worth of Cheks......

So today I go to use one chek to purchase tokens and a pass.
"They've expired......all of them" was what i was met with.

Shit #2.

Not only did the man behind the plastic- glass shatter my plan to not spend any money on transportation, i was soaking wet.......broken down on the side of the road without a spare.
I got my ticket and went on my way - with a pile useless transit cheks.

then my backpack ripped.

then i killed the homeless man who was trying to make me give him money, or a donut, or some coffee.
yes i killed him, with my complete and utter power of frustration. i made his heart blow up inside his chest. and it stunk.

Wednesday, September 14, 2005

what are you packin?

So - last night i watched Supernatural. and i want to ask you...where did these two come from?


and what is the front dude got in his jeans? a pistol, or just a small cute handgun? Just sayin.
I really liked it, yes i know it's hokey....but its scarey man. I am always freaked out by ghostly things, and it was full of it last night. I actually screamed once so loud that I displaced the dog, cat and kevin. all three jumped and ran for cover. ridiculous, because the show, it's not really all that believable, but its creepy. me likey, and especially the guy who plays dean, jensen ackles.

oh the ways in which I count my hours.

in other news, ummm....this is the first weekend in forever that we are going to be in town. I am very happy for this matter, and to be able to just chill and be. and breath. and organize myself a little bit. It's wonderful to be booked solid with trips and friends and all that..but also good to be able to wake up on Saturday morning, make a pot of coffee, watch Vh1's top 20 countdown while lazily waking up. It's good. It's good in general these days. The summer heat having somewhat gotten less intense, a crispness makes it feel fresh and new. Optimism has been borne out of angst in some way.
kevin is still going a little insane with the darling katrina situation at the Red Cross, and he will be for a while, so now I think they have to figure out how to accept the crisis operation will be a long time out. last night I did so much that I nearly burst, but my prize winning turn came from dinner. I actually bbq'd burgers and did ok with it. I hate cooking though. It takes me three times as long to prepare a meal than it does kevin. but when he aint' home, ain't no one doin no cookin but nate.

I can't weigh in on heavy things today, just being silly. sooooo in that vein, here are my shows to watch on tv, so far....

Prison Break (love it)
Supernatural (duhhhhhh)
Survivor: guatallllaaa whatever
Amazing Race
Reunion (not totally sold yet, but close)
Nip/Tuck (fav)
Lost
Desperate Housewives....
oh. whats the point. I love it all. but will end up watching not many.....doesn't stimulate the synapse's enough......................so also intend on reading the dogs of babel, snow garden and .....what else, any suggestions?


(oh last night I was up mucho late watching felicity reruns while enjoying my codene laced tylenol ...teeth issues man.....on felicity though - tyra banks was a guest..did you know that?)

Monday, September 12, 2005


before too many cocktails flew in. Posted by Picasa


oh my god.  Posted by Picasa


some sort of native dance......trap your husband i think..... Posted by Picasa


wish you were here. Posted by Picasa

Thursday, September 8, 2005

i will be THE answer


"As of now, forecasters say none of the three storms -- Hurricanes Nate and Maria and Tropical Storm Ophelia -- is considered a major threat to land. " from CNN.

Thank goodness I am not a threat to land.
As for human beings and small farm animals..........watch the fuck out.

Anyway - moving right along.
Yesterday I was talking to someone, got a little panicked after I walked away from the person. I began to think about my connections in this city, about true friendships, and what they have become to mean in Philadelphia. In the other places I have had many good friends, people who I could call and say "lets go eat soba" "let's finish off a couple bottles of chardonnay", at any given time of the day.

Here in Philly things have been different, but putting things in perspective I know that's because of the relationship status...... changes things.....and you don't really do things the way you used to as a single person. But all the same, I sometimes find myself not being able to identify my bestest friend here, but that's because that person is Kevin. Anyway - (this is getting all convoluted).....my point really was that as I walked away from the person yesterday and.....wow this makes no sense....i started thinking about some other friends and how we've not talked to them...and what that all meant....lo and behold they turned up today....it's just weird how that turns up....that things are never quite what they seem. I don't try and understand it anymore, but i really respect how things just fall into place, how you just gotta focus on less static.

(that picture in is of Dina Martina, we saw her in Ptown and could not believe how funny she was.....pissin our pants we were............we love you dina)

Natie

Tuesday, September 6, 2005

You have 5 seconds to catch your breath

Five.
Camping was great fun, of course more than enough drink and food to go around, and more than enough bitchy comments to fill a room. Thats how it be though. of note was the amazing capacity for the fags to decorate a campsite with enough sparkle and cheese than you can imagine. Every one of the campsites was full of christmas lights and windmills....nice at night, but definate walmart quality. Oh yeah also of note is the fact that it's basically a naked campground. My co workers are getting the biggest kick out of thinking about naked hairy bears singing showtunes next to a campfire. What i didn't tell them is the real thing that naked hairy bears like to do at night next to a campfire.

Four.
Provincetown, after the fact. Have not really updated on the ptown activities, still trying to digest them, so as not to forget how wonderful it was. Tea dances and drag queens were the soup du jour......and we had our fill. More than enough actually. And i am so glad of it. Bob and Dave (the two whom we went with) we wonderful, we spent a lot of time just being. And that was nice. To just be.....and breath and take it all in. We met some people, people whom we won't see again, which is kinda wierd to me. Kevin doesn't seem to mind that part of it, but i find it strange, we met people, saw them for 7 days and now don't even have contact with them....oh well. I guess it's just the nature of vacation? am i right?

Three.
Summer is winding down, which is also hard to swallow. We had such an explosive summer, in so many ways. I fell of the sane wagon for a bit, and we did more activity in three short months than ever, and i have come to appreciate that is how we work best. I loved it, and hated it though, and know that having lost my marbles for two weeks, i am much more strong and better than before. Always bittersweet. Always.

Two.
Kevin is really working his butt off for the Red Cross right now. Not sure if you all knew, but thats who kevin works for. And they are reallly working him out right now. And he loves it, but hasn't had time to digest the whole tragedy in New Orleans i think. Anyway - make sure you give some love to the Red Cross......they work hard, as all emergency responders do, but its important for them to hear even the littlest of praise. Send out the love.

One.
Moving right into fall, with activities. This Friday is Gay Day at 6 Flags Great Adventure. We are going and i can't wait. The park is closed to anyone who is not gay. Not kidding. On some level it's sorta strange. But there is literally no one there, no lines at all. We went last year and it was great. I am a total ride whore, and love it. Kevin on the other hand can't go on rides that go upside down, spin around, or in just move in a circular motion. Luckily i think we've found a few people to go with us that like rides more than kevin.

Talk soon kids.
Natie


kev built it all by his-self........ Posted by Picasa


tis i once again, garlic bread over the fire.....good times. Posted by Picasa


Tis i, Nate....... Posted by Picasa


Kevin and Rich waiting to undock and go for a ride.... Posted by Picasa


Kevin and the dogs... Posted by Picasa