what would it be like to make you moan?

Ah. Cute picture right boys?
Philly has it's little area of gay called the Gayborhood. I literally want to vomit when I hear that term, or if i have to say it. but it's what the gay is called. Some blogs out there have noted that most recently the city put permanent rainbow signs on the corner of all these gay streets. It's nice to know your homo when you get there i suppose. At any rate, a new Starbucks went in, right on the corner, near the gay gym....and all things gay. This morning i got a Vanilla Frapp...skinny. As i left i became acutely aware of my surroundings.
You see, one of the only non-gay things there is across the street from the Starbucks. It's a Methadone Maintenance program. The mornings are when the people are given their treatments. I don't think it opens until 9 am. Around 8:30 there are so so many former heroin addicts littering the sidewalks that I could spend five hours detailing the behaviors and things i see. There is no judgement here...none at all... (dad liked his heroin).......but man o man. Thrown in a few of the gay trying to get the vanilla fraps and iced lemon pound cake...and you got yourself quite the circus act kids.
My favorite time of the day.

peace be with you

So, we had our weekend down at the beach. Was fun. Beautiful weather, and we def did not want to come back here to Philly. I can't say that I was the best person to be around though....for some reason I'd had a lot going on in my head....mostly because of self esteem issues I think. I got on the scale this morning, to check in with myself, reality testing.....and sure enough, i can say...with great assurance that I weigh close to 10 more pounds right now than i did last year on this weekend. I've no idea how it happened, nor when it happened...but as I looked at the pictures from this weekend, I could tell...of course i have been working out more, and probly about 5 of those pounds are muscled mass, still.........i can tell and it made me a bad person to be around this weekend.

Sorry for that.

We did have a nice time with Kacy and Hilary though, and with each other. We ended up at Ocean City, DE one night and rode rides and had old school fun on the boardwalk...We lauged a lot and I am so so happy that summer is here finally. Unfortch, i have to get my ass together and stop being a freak !!

OK, back to work....after four days off, it feels just WONDERFUL to be working again...LOL.

Check ya later.

Take a close look at this picture, kevin is rolling behind me, this is a round tube thing that spins all the way around...he broke his head on this one.

With an intellect and a savoir-faire

• The neutral pH level.
• The most common number chosen when asked to choose a number between 1 and 10.
• The number of notes in a musical scale.
• The smallest positive integer requiring more than one syllable.
• The number of wonders of the ancient world.
• The number of days in a week.
• The number of colors in a rainbow.
  

Seven years ago, this weekend, Kevin and I met and have been inseparable since. You can say a lot of things about us. You definitely can do that.
But can you say you've been with the same person, hip to hip, back to back...... for seven years? we can. we do. we celebrate our 7 year anniversary this weekend at the beach.

ghosts of you

i must must must address the nice person who said that i was becoming a gay cliche in my comments section.........

wait a second, no i don't.

by

pulls me through the seat of chairs

So as you can tell by the pictures the weekend was full. My coffee was strong this morning, the sun is bright.....all things are in line, to lead me into a nice stable Monday morning at work, and yet i feel like a used whore. Things just aren't adding up for me today and i recognize that means i have to do some soul searching. I feel really terrible. It was a rocky weekend for kevin and I, and that is so unsettling. I can testify that i was out of sorts.

Friday night we went to some benefit for Manna. It was nice, but i couldn't shake a feeling of anxiety or being unsettled. It was alarming, and i actually saw myself wanting more alcohol because of it. which made me feel worse............Saturday was just a little more of the same thing, we slept really long and then went up to New Hope to dinner at a new friend's house. Amazing time, yet again feeling like a stranger in my own body. We ended up driving back to Philly by like 1AM. Sunday we went to the Italian Market festival (the pig heads came from there), and then back up to New Hope for a party and then tea dance. All very fun, yet all influenced by my mood. I guess I know that I have to figure out whats getting me all fired up, but I can't think of anything off the bat.....all the same, i've started to count down my time until the end of the work day, so i can go home and deconstruct my mind a little.

Oh, isn't this a great pic? The pool at this house is so amazing !!!!! As is the hospitality !!!

also sunday afternoon in new hope

sunday afternoon in new hope

all i can do is keep breathing

I sat down to watch my Tivo'ed Grey's Anatomy. I thought next week was the season finale. I was wrong. And i was worked the fuck out. That shit had me all messed up. I sat thinking about how they would wrap it all up next Thursday night, and as the show went on, and the build up intensified i began to realize....this was it. And then..............i was crying. Like a big headed baby. Jessssssssssuss !
That Sandra Oh....!!!!!
sorry.
Now back to our regular gay blogging