do you remember when Mariah Carey lost her mind in front of the world a few years back. I thought there was no way that girl would be seen again.
I am speechless about Britney. There isn't much to say, because it is so so sad. I just watched something from this site. x17online.com, and i cannot believe how insane she is acting. I can't figure it out though. What is the issue, drugs or mental status ??? I think it's more than likely a dual diagnosis, but she is really exhibiting some strong criteria for Bi Polar or something more serious. Strange, and sad.
And I love Blackout. -------------------------------

box full o honey

devasting polaroids.

good morning, good morning to you

v. bait·ed, bait·ing, baits v. tr.

1. To place a lure in (a trap) or on (a fishing hook).
2. To entice, especially by trickery or strategy.
3. To set dogs upon (a chained animal, for example) for sport.
4. To attack or torment, especially with persistent insults, criticism, or ridicule.
5. To tease.
6. To feed (an animal), especially on a journey.

Sometimes other people, often those who we love and care for, will say things to get a reaction out of us. When someone does this to me, I say that they are baiting me. Baiting me to respond angrily or emotionally because that is how they are feeling.
Lately, I've come to a better understanding of how this happens to me, and more importantly, how I handle it.
In my lifetime, my general response to being baited, is to react emotionally - to blurt back and show general anger (often times my anger produces a character similar to our stereotypes of a very loudmouthed trucker). I step right in the trap and get caught, stuck, and bleeding out mean words and resentment.

Over two weeks ago something happened and I realized that a calmer response, or no response at all is best. It makes all the difference for me. It will take me time, but someone once said to me....."We're looking for progress, not perfection" !!!!!!!!

I also realized something else. I can only do 50% of that work. I take ownership of not falling into the trap. The other 50% is that the other party has to avoid the baiting to begin with. Otherwise the job is only half done.

So eat it girls.

And darlings.........just work with me.

Nathan !!!

i love it when you call

The Feeling. Check them out !!!. and the one in the middle...he's gay gay gay !!! and very purty.

flowery faggggggg

in times of cold, blustery days.....where nothing is warm, except your mans booty.....think of the less frigid days and be happy !!!!!!!!
without the walking cast.

i never was a cornflake girl

firstly. is that a pair of socks ? Secondly.....I might want to be this boy. Just maybe. I posted it mostly though because that is what, sorta, I am going for with my hair. I like it. I do.

Onto some other things. First. Heath Ledger's dying has been oddly terrifying. It's really made me feel really bad, and it's kinda the first time i felt some pings of grief for a celebrity type. I just cannot believe it. That's all i am going to say though, everything is about him right now and I don't want to over-saturate.

The other thing I want to point people towards, if anyone reads this anymore....is a group who I love. They are pop-ish, but just all around hot. The Feeling. They sorta jumped on the mainstream radar last year...they have a new CD coming out. If you google them for myspace, you can listen to some of their new stuff. Good stuff. That's all i know.

Hope your day is great !!

Nate

4 PM is towing time

You all have tivo, or some form of it. Please. Please tivo this show. Parking Wars. It's on A & E. Kevin and I are getting hours of fun from it. If you live in Philly, it's almost life or death if you choose to ignore this show. It follows workers of the dreaded Philadelphia Parking Authority (lovingly called the PPA).
It's one of the most fun 30 minutes you can stand. Honest. The people who work there are only 1/4 of the fun. It's customers of the PPA that make it worth it. People loose their shit. The PPA is notoriusly aggressive in their ticketing, and it's pure - painless hilarity at the cost of others.
And here is why I am writing this post.
1. Because I love you all.
2. Because this morning when I got on the train, one of the PPA people on the show was standing next to me. She was the doll who sits and counts down until 4pm so that she can ticket cars to be towed because they are parking in spots that turn over to tow zones at exactly 4pm. She sits, and waits and counts down until it is exactly 4pm, not a second later and starts moving. Can you stand it?

Remind me to talk about Erik Rhodes when i get a second.
Ok?
later upper east siders.

Long-ish

As a child in a small town, I was not known for my great athletic abilities. Nor was I known for being quiet. I was loud and drew a lot of attention, a skill which sometimes hurt, sometimes helped. Nevertheless, my behavior often brought a certain amount of trouble for me.
Anyway, the athletic thing was tough. I desperately wanted to fit into things, wanted to be a part of almost anything that was going on (being an only child with a nutty home life made activities a survival tool). I just wasn't good at anything. Running was one of those things. I was horrible and was often trying to get out of the annual 3 mile run we had HAD to do. Mostly sitting on the sideline with Dorinda B. or Marta B. The gals.
So sad. I cited asthma and knee pain a lot of the time, but it didn't always work with our gym teacher. And i was forced to run, or do a "make up run". I hated it so so much.
And it makes it so much more dramatic to talk about running the NYC marathon this year. I want to, very much. The thought of it makes me wanna puke, not only thinking about the length of the marathon, but because of the anxiety it produces. I've run 10 mile races and one half marathon. I know i'll be able to do it, but it's exhausting just thinking about it. It's a goal though. We have to put in for the lottery to get into it, but I am going to try my ass off. So, if you see me running, know that my goal is more than likely on my mind and send some good thoughts my way !!!

the chick in the middle, not looking good

Cloverfield. Thumbs up from Nate. A definitive down from Kevin (through his vomit)

The movie is shaky, hard to watch at times. Kevin got sicky to his tender little tummy due to motion.

I loved it, thought it was great, and admit that it was hard to watch at times. It's a tough call. At the end of the day, it doesn' matter what the reviews say. That hooker of a movie made some mad duckets at the box offfice.

you'll turn to stone

The other day I was walking down the street and playing a little game of self pity. It was futile, as it usually is. But this one was pretty funny, if i do say so myself.
I was lamenting the fact that I want to go away and be warm for a hot minute. Then i started to complain in my head how i never get to go anywhere. Which quickly became a game of reality testing.
In 2007 I went to the following places:

Fire Island
Las Vegas
San Diego
New Orleans
NYC
Montreal
Ft. Lauderdale

Somewhere around this time i began to smack myself in the head with a parking meter and say self destructive things to myself in an effort to allow me to be grateful for what i gots !!!
it worked, i was/am grateful for the travel.
And, I want to go overseas.
And, I want to be in a warm place right now.
You can, my little ladies, have your cake and eat it too.
It just takes time and patience and a tiny little bit of bruising on your head.
Love you the most.
Nate

PS - jared leto above, just because i haven't seen his hotness in a while - he poofed up at Sundance. Doochebag all in tow, he's still smokin.!

Two Figures by a Fountain

Yes it won last night. However, I am posting about it because we went to see it last night. Atonement.
I read the book, so i knew what to expect, but I really had no idea how much it would blow me away. It was such a visually beautiful movie. I just could not get over how stunning it was. The shots were all so intense. All three main characters, Cecelia, Robbie and Briony were outstanding. James McAvoy came out of no where, as far as I am concerned, and blew that screen up. Not a traditional Hollywood hunk.....at first glance, but he convinced me otherwise by the end of the movie. Go see the movie. It's great !!! The other thing which was breathtaking was the score. It was the fourth piece of the movie which made it all worth it.

yes sir, yes sir !!!!

I don't' have Showtime, nor do I have any of the premium movie channels...so I waited with much patience and a thumping in my body in several locations for The Tudors to come out with their first season on digital modes. It is here. I am thoroughly excited for this. On my way to work today, I watched part of the first episode on my Ipod. Smokin hot. That's all I can say. All of them....well most of them. I am also slightly obsessed with period types of things...It' s so mesmerizing to me.....the fact that before the King would "take" a girl...he would ask "do you consent?" What he meant to say is that if you don't consent, your as good as dead......so, do you consent ????
All I can say is HELL YEAH !
That little Henry Cavill......
I also have a lot to say and think about for Mr. Johnny. I just hope he's doing well !!!

humility on bleeker street

Some jumps, some hurdles are just not meant to be easy.
Hmpf. But it is Thursday, isn't it. One more day in this long long week.

Last night I watched the third movie in those Pirates of the Caribean movies. I gotta tell ya, I liked it a lot. It sorta washed out with critics, but it was highly entertaining. Now, I'm not much in the way of...."oh it has to be artistic" or "it's too blockbuster for me". I like the blockbusters and I like the little ones too, all i'm sayin is that it was fun. It diverted me for a while....for a whole 2hours and 49 minutes. It was a long long movie.

I feel like being social this evening. I want to do something fun and/or nice. i dont' want to hole myself up in the house anymore. I've started back at the gym and am feeling good about that. I'm also getting this stupid mop on my head cut tonight. Should I shave it off? I love having buzz cuts. I do.
Anyway, thats all i know for now. chat wit ya all later. Hopes it all good.

aude

The New Year. Ah.

What does it feel like for you? For me ? It's been real odd, really oddistic. And I've had enough of odd. For now anyway. I've been missing from the gym, need a hair cut and eating like a mother f*&^#@.

All bad bad things. The hardest part is getting back on track. But i've got some goals, some direction and i've got to get it on. Thats it.
Kevin is doing great and so is Noah. Things are good and we are fortunate in so many ways. The only thing that bothers Kevin is that I actually own a hat, that looks similar to the one in this picture. It drives him mad. Somehow i suspect if i looked like this dude it wouldn't matter to kevin what the hell i was wearing. Anyway, if you use Itunes, go to the dance section of the music portion of Itunes (because they ain't just sellin music, in case you didn't notice) and they have an area that is called "Tracks to make you sweat" I plan to use that as a medication. To motivate and move to. Thats all .

enjoy. and love you the most.

till the fat lady sings

I am almost ready again. Just starting to feel as though I can breath again. Tune in for me soon ladies.
Love,
Nate - alie.