Thursday, March 30, 2006

Try try try to understand....




For those in the know.

I was sitting in my clinician's office (see therapist) looking at an Instinct magazine (see very gay therapist office), amidst the very pretty pictures and scratch n sniffs in the periodical, was an advert for TLA Video Releasing.

Ironically, and in one of life's cute little curve ball - smack you in the face and kiss you reminders, there was two DVD box covers being advertised.

Right next to each other, in full display for all to see.

The two movies were:

  1. Slutty Summer
  2. The Hole

Very funny to those who know the significance.

Three things for Thursday.

  • Without doing any research, and with a little embarassment, I realized that I do not know Prince Charles, William, or Harry's last name.
  • Having heard Pink's new cd on The Leak, on MTV.com, I have decided that I like it very much and would like for Kevin to fix our new Router and Internet at home so that I might access at home.
  • I like rumble strips. Like when you are driving on a highway and come to a toll booth. I very much enjoy the sound the car makes. As well as the rumble one feels on one's Toukass.

Love always,

Dreamboat Annie

Tuesday, March 28, 2006

ILF the B (part two)


I had learned from the best....having come out of getting my heart stomped on, and then, in turn, stomping on some hearts myself.
And trust me, I am not saying that my clarity, that things were more observable, when I was on the dance floor that weekend...Millenium March weekend...cause they were't. What I came to understand was how maladaptive my lessons learned had become.

That weekend was amazing though, we drank, we played, we had fun. It was the first time...in all my years of ice hockey and soccer, it was my first time i truly sprained my ankle.
I was walking down some lettered street in Washington after having been on the Mall all day - or actually in the beer garden at the Mall. and i fell off a curb.
My ankle swelled up right good. My messiest of messy friends was even commenting on it, and trying to tell me to stay home and nurse it.

And I went to Velvet dancing on it - all night. Was messed up for a while, but it was worth it. Of course...i see the humor in it all now.....how priorities can be subjected to impaired decision making... It was a good time though. A good time in my life...fun and full.
I remember being in JR's and being so completely happy. Which i didn't think was a possibility three months eariler.

the lessons come and go....
i later saw pictures that kevin had taken of that very same weekend, but with his group of friends......in the same beer garden, under the same sun....with the same fags in the background of his pictures that were in the background of my pictures. We wouldn't meet for another month or two.
Wierd, small world. I wonder.
What if.........

ILF the B

The space it occupied was the year 2000, I had spent New Year's Eve that year in NYC, when everyone was running from the city and sealing up it's manholes..trying to start the Millenium with a fair amount of insanity.

Mission accomplished for sure...

fast forward to springtime in Washington DC. It was the Millenium March, which co existed with Cherry Weekend. I think. It's much a blur, so it's hard to make my memory a realization. Her anthem was working me out.
I have never been one to rant and rave about one dj or the next...just to recognize when a beat hit me in the cortex and when it made me scream like a woman when it started to pump out to speakers.....
The thing I remember the most was the distinct 8 beats in 4/4 time it took to go from silence to a guttoral "UGHHHHH".
Yes, just when we think we aren't learning a thing, when it seems we are just dancing the night and day away, thats when we realize....when I realized...I Learned From The Best, mother fucker. - to be continued.............................

Thursday, March 23, 2006

snappin necks and breaking balls


Easy to understand. Today is my Friday. I took tomorrow off to regroup. To pamper, to release, to enjoy myself. In oh so many ways. I am getting an Aveda Facial. I am going to Barnes and Noble and drink way too much coffee whilst reviewing my, what- will - be - new, French Dictionary in between perusing VMan. I think it's perfect. Almost. What would be more perfect is if I could then skip home, put on my bathing suit and go lie on the beach, getting golden and rejuvenated. Instead, i'll have to bundle up in my jacket and put my gloves on......speaking of gloves..take a gander at the young buck in with the bruised eye and biffed up chin.
ah.
moving right along, my dream last night involved symphonies and mer-people. Also involved jumping off a bridge and a constant sense of panic.

Our roomie told us he was moving out, so on the lookout for a new one.
On Gray's Anatomy (which i am definitely into) they played my current fav song, How To Save a Life. Drama.

I paid my cell phone bill today, only meant to pay half of it, paid the whole thing and basically passed out.....i forgot to populate the allotted space with my desired payment amount, so instead it populated it's damn self with the total amount and....Mama is not happy.

Shirley Manson is a fierce biatch and I can't wait for her to come out with a solo album. Until then, my Docking station here at work is screaming about being "Special" drinking "Milk" and telling me how "Special" I am. Just so long as I take my "Medication".

Until I come back.

Wednesday, March 22, 2006

i turn away - i know whats goin on....

this is one of my favorite shots....i took it at our favorite bed and breakfast in Montreal....Ruta Bagage. Amazing place. If anyone is interested in it, let me know. Anyway, each room is themed for the most part. This was pre power nap for kevin....the painting of the man on the wall is tres erotic...at least i think so.
Anyway- the simplicity of the photo is what draws me to it.

Its good to be me. Posted by Picasa

Tuesday, March 21, 2006

Brit bump be gone.

a while ago, i watched a movie with this man, Raoul Bova, in it. Sinfully terrible movie...but i couldn't shake him. So here he is. and there he lies.

Anyway - we went to a Black Tie function for the Red Cross this weekend, it was nice....fun and all. However we totally forgot our camera, therefore I have no pics to share with all of you. I know you've "heard it all before" but Sorry.

My ipod is now full of several goodies that make my P Q.
Due to dear old PerezHilton.com, I downloaded someone named Jake Coco. I LOVE HIM....songs are good, a little melancholy, but good regardless.
I also like Daniel Powter, although they are saturating all media with his new song "Bad Day", still like it....anthem of sorts.

I guess thats all. Terribly Boring today. Perhaps more later....started francais last night...gotta dust off the old cells up in my big head.....it's amazing what i remember though.
Out. Posted by Picasa

Sunday, March 19, 2006

Friday, March 17, 2006

feel so nice, oh yeah, you feel so nice

but i'm flying so high,
high off the ground,
when your around..............

It's friday and lady....it's time to relax, time to just be.
Good weekend planned, who knows where it will bring us, but even the cold air outside won't deter this mood of mine. It's all good, thats all i know. It's all good.
Kevin gave me a Tumi Sling today.
Figure it out...i love it, fits nicely.
They took that picture of me in the pool last year.
sign up for french class today, starts next week.

Oh - I forgot to tell you. If you see me at the gym, and i happen to have my ipod attached to my arm and the Shur Earphones in my ear....I CANNOT HEAR YOU WHEN YOU TRY TO TALK TO ME. THEY ARE NOISE CANCELLATION HEADPHONES.....so.
Let me be. I know I know, we can talk later though honey.

Hot Temptations.
Neighty.

Thursday, March 16, 2006

I wanna see you move

Let me see you stand up.
Good. Good.
Now.
Bend over.
Very good.
Very good indeed.
Now….what are you wearing.? ……………

Dirty. Spring-like thoughts.


Life lesson for march 16, 2006:
The porous, sponge-like material with which you eat your Ethiopian food with, will expand to 40x it’s original size once inside your intestines. You will feel like a hot air balloon, careening through the open sky on a hot, humid, sticky mid-July day, carrying five very large, big boned ladies.
And you’ll be scared to put on your tank top at the gym…at which point you’ll develop many scenarios, in your head, in which all parties working out at the gym will look at you and laugh laugh laugh their asses off thereby sending you home weeping like an ugly stepchild who overstayed his welcome at the big house.

Then you realize this is just a blog and it reflects nothing in real life situations.

vouloir le beurre et l'argent du beurre -
Nate
PS - you'll never guess. We went to an ethiopian place last night for dinner. Good times.

"Now I hope you don’t get mad at me, but I told nate you was a freak“
He said he wants a slut
hope you don’t mind,
I told him how you like it from behind

Tuesday, March 14, 2006

Band Aid Covers the Bullet Hole

As doctors, as friends, as human beings, we all try to do the best we can.
But the world is full of unexpected twists and turns, and just when you've gotten the lay of the land... the land underneath you shifts and knocks you off your feet.
If your lucky, you end up with nothing more than a flesh wound, something a band aid will cover.
But some wounds are deeper than they first appear, and require more than just a quick fix.
With some wounds you have to rip off the band aid, let them breath.
and give them time....
to heal.

Monday, March 13, 2006

get your hand off of my trigger

step 1: sing really loudly in the shower, with the windows open and don't care what the neighbors will say. get the words wrong, no one cares....

step 2: think about your good times, and get ready for new ones. and maybe, just maybe, this can become a good time too.

step 3: know that those in your life are there for a reason, to support, love and saturate you with all that is good.

step 4: breath deep breaths.

step 5: have some sex.

step 6: DON'T catastrophize.

step 7: buy some pretty.

step 8: be happy that something like this happened, for some people this is a dream - a big fat wet one.

Saturday, March 11, 2006

just breath

It really is what it looks like. This summer we got up pretty early one morning on Fire Island - after a day of rain, the sun was up and woke us up...... we went down to the beach with Noah ---- such a good feeling. Can't beat it really. The cold, endless water waking you up. Today is like that feeling a little bit, to go for a run and feel normal in some way. Not that normal isnt' relative. Wish you were here !!! Posted by Picasa Nate and Noah

Friday, March 10, 2006

smile like you mean it hoe,and put your hands up

I know, I know.

I am done.
Just know -
C'était un bon temps. Merci.

I was singing so loud on the way to work this morning, once again listening to The Killers - Hot Fuss (i come to this cd when the air is thick for natey), singing so loudly, with the sunroof wide open, that my lips were vibrating and za-za-zipping along so fast that it tickled me and caused me to loose my shizzle lady.
It was then that i knew i was repaired to some degree. Nuff said.

This weekend is slow, very slow and it needs to be.
I think we'll do nothing....I will definately go for a run today after work, first run outside. The race will be in May so i have to start training for it now....or soon anyway.

I am also going to try and register for this French class thing....je suis desire a parle francais.....tsk tsk tsk..
i cant remember too much French, but I am smart and ...it's all good.
at any rate

hope your weekend is full of tawdry acts of self satisfaction, or dual satisfaction - triple if it suits you..................
can we go to nyc this weekend ?
kidding....i gotta go, before i make myself and all of you sick !!!
do something good for yourself, and then do it again....
and remember the seven deadly sins are there for a reason.
Love ya love ya,
Nate

Thursday, March 9, 2006

careful what you wish for


and be sure not to use two wishes on the same damn thing, because the third will rally to bite you in the ass, jerkoff.

_____________________________________________________
Always in my life, i've kept a log..a journal, diary...whatever . I don't write in it all the time, in fact there may be 8 months at a time when I don't write.
I always thought I'd be a writer or something like that....but it just never materialized.
Anyway with recent events I am writing full throttle in it....which ultimately illustrates that something is awry.
And there's no use beating around the bush about it....we had a very surreal weekend - reflective of a time in our relationship when things went bump in the night and you felt the bruise for weeks at a time. I am being cryptic, i know. but it has to be that way for now.
The point of my rant is basically to process it (which is hard to do without an objective position).
Ultimately I see that we make some poor decisions (could they be good decisions in disguise ???) for lack of better descriptors, and I - alone - seem to be the one who gets stuck with it in my head.
And it's totally my fault. Kevin has great capacity to get through situations when I am not.
Getting through.
Situations.

In a less blurred area of our lives - we are planning vacations soon, and i can't wait. Ptown is going to be smashing again - for sure. I have spent a lot of time lately playing with imagery and where it can take me. One of the playlists on my Pod has a song by Ben Jelen (don't ask) called Wicked Little Town. When we were in Ptown this summer some dude got up on stage at one of the shows we went to and he played, and sang this song. In his underwear. And he was smokin. Hot. I use this image, somedays. I do. Honest...and it's not sexual. It puts me in a better time and place, and allows me to breath. Which is a good thing.

Thats all, I feel better already.
One little piece at a time we spread the love - up and down the east coast....spread the love lady. Thats what we say.
The flip side of all this is that maybe we have more places to stay when we go a-travellin'. All i know is there is a towel in my laundry basket and it needs to be washed.

SWAK -
Neight