pulls me through the seat of chairs

So as you can tell by the pictures the weekend was full. My coffee was strong this morning, the sun is bright.....all things are in line, to lead me into a nice stable Monday morning at work, and yet i feel like a used whore. Things just aren't adding up for me today and i recognize that means i have to do some soul searching. I feel really terrible. It was a rocky weekend for kevin and I, and that is so unsettling. I can testify that i was out of sorts.

Friday night we went to some benefit for Manna. It was nice, but i couldn't shake a feeling of anxiety or being unsettled. It was alarming, and i actually saw myself wanting more alcohol because of it. which made me feel worse............Saturday was just a little more of the same thing, we slept really long and then went up to New Hope to dinner at a new friend's house. Amazing time, yet again feeling like a stranger in my own body. We ended up driving back to Philly by like 1AM. Sunday we went to the Italian Market festival (the pig heads came from there), and then back up to New Hope for a party and then tea dance. All very fun, yet all influenced by my mood. I guess I know that I have to figure out whats getting me all fired up, but I can't think of anything off the bat.....all the same, i've started to count down my time until the end of the work day, so i can go home and deconstruct my mind a little.

Oh, isn't this a great pic? The pool at this house is so amazing !!!!! As is the hospitality !!!