the jig is up, the news is out

I grew up with parents who had a good time. They were not too much unlike I am in my adulthood. They were hippies when the time was appropriate and found themselves in some place similar in the 80's. The clothes changed, the concept stayed the same. So anyway, i was one of those kids who went to parties with my parents...there was always about 5 other kids who tagged along with their parents too. Being an only child, i found these times to be most enjoyable. In all honesty, it was a reprieve from being alone, and i flourished in this environment.....I digress.

The focus of this entry was on my parents and how, although skewed, they raised me to appreciate a lot of things...having fun being one of those things. The reason i began to think about this was because of a sudden recurrence, or possible shift, in musical pull this week.

I've found myself scanning the Classic Rock Itunes Essentials.......and i'm loving it.

The very first record i had was a Styx album.....and i loved it...LOVED IT. Supertramp and ELO were favorites of my parents. Pat Benatar was my queen, and Heart was my mother's most played album.......But nothing, NOTHING, topped the Eagles. That was the bomb, for my mother anyway...(and let's face it, i emulate her) Later came early Melissa Etheridge, my mom just loved her, loved her....thats another story.

Anyway - those early years, growing up as a tiny adult in my parents world, was surrounded by music, and when i hear some of those songs now...well it's weird. I have memories that I haven't had in many years, a time when I was watching them all throw horseshoes and wonder when i might be able to play, or when i first started to play darts....(which i am very good at btw) its odd, very comforting, and yet very sad....days gone by, my youth-hood.

it was an early morning yesterday

i was up before the dawn

and i really have enjoyed my stay

but i must be movin on

like a king without a castle

and a queen without a thrown

i'm an early mornin lover

and imust be moving on

now i believe in what you say

is the undisputed truth

but i have to have things my own way

to keep me in my youth

GOODBYE STRANGER - Supertramp

is that bum for real ???

Look at that thing, just all poked up in the air and shit. Man. O. Man.

Mr. Roddick is growing up right before our eyes....and my eyes is wide open.

Jamais

I thought this summer wasn't going to be too packed with things. You know, slower than summer's past....which is fine either way, but it's not turning out that way. We've been summoned to do many things.....or at least we've planned it that way. I've not been up to see my mother in almost two years (she comes here a lot), but we've been wanting to get up there and see her. Chazy, New York. When people say upstate New York.....i think they mean about two hours north of NYC.....but...i truly come from Upstate. It's about 5 hours North of NYC, 45 minutes South of Montreal and 50 Minutes from Burlington, VT. It's in the Adirondack Mountains or rather on the other side of the mountains. The ride up there is beautiful, alas it's a 7 hour drive.

We usually head up to Montreal one or two nights, as there isn't much to do at all near where my mom lives. It's close to Plattsburgh, if anyone knows that place....and about an hour past Lake Placid, where the Olympics were held many moons ago.

So anyway, it was a last minute trip and I am way way excited to go. In the middle of the mountains there is this place called Split Rock...it's this really amazing waterfall that has like four different levels you can jump from into the waterfall.....it's sooo sooo cool..pics to follow for sure.

Anyway - thats whats new in our world....still stoked for Fire Island...two trips up there and a birfday in there somewhere....

Happy Thursday...I def woke up on the wrong side of the bed today, so officially ---- sorry kev.

Love me

fresh

I feel fresh today. I gots a nice hair cut and spent a good time at the gym this morning. But i am going nuts. One....I can't stop thinking that i left the frickin iron on at home....Two.....I can't find our facial moisturizer anywhere, and i am peeling so i need that shit like George Michael needs a bump of coke. Three......my ipod is not updating when i sync it up. Which is the equivalent of not having oxygen for me (since it's New Music Tuesday).

Taking all that in stride, it's hot as balls out today. I am fresh but disheveled.
Hope everyone stays cool today and that everyone is hydrated. take care of yourselves people.

Nate

art

I took this late on Saturday night, I think it's pretty cool. A pretty big dive, we had some grub here before heading into the casino to win. Yes. I won.

This trip to the Casino has pretty much ruined any chance of me having fun in a Casino for the rest of my life. When we went to Vegas, I won. And LOVE THAT TOWN. I won again this weekend and i am quite certain my luck can't go on forever with that crap. Not huge amounts, but around $400. Which makes me squeal with happiness. Blackjack is the shizzle. I also learned how to play craps. That shit is fun. Anyway, the weekend was amazing.
I was so tired though that i drove home about 3/4 of the way without my headlights on. And it was dark.

Poor me.

I think this might be one of the best pictures kevin's ever taken. He generally takes great pics, but i think he looks pretty damn good here.

Boat Drive Up.

Kevin took this amazing picture from the boat. it was so amazing and peaceful, and we had had just enough beer to enjoy a private minute !!!!

paparazzi

This was towards the end of the weekend, we'd just eaten so much food that i thought i would die. I did get back to the house and sleep for about a half hour before driving home. Bad bad boys.

it's a new dawn it's a new day

Well, let's begin here. Ok? We were in Atlantic City this weekend. We began Friday night at this place, actually it wasn't the start, but it was where it all started to unravel. In a great way. This bar in the Tropicana, is completely devoted to Karaoke. All karaoke, all the time. So much fun. For about an hour, then you get sorta annoyed.

hello again, it's you and me

Girlfriend was my hero. Marion....AKA Karen Allen. Indiana was too, Mr. Jones that is, but she was so fierce in this movie...Raiders of the Lost Ark, in case you didn't know. This scene in particular worked me out. This scene with all those damn snakes.........yuck !!! anyway, rumor has it that she is going to be in the new Indiana Jones movie. And my hole is quivering. I loved that franchise. Remember that little asian boy....he was in the Goonies too. Wasn't he? chow -chow....oh nevermind. And Kate Capshaw's performance in the opening of the film.....

In other news, we are going to listen to seashells this weekend. For real. Can't wait. No NYC gay pride for us, no siree bob. we ain't. no way. no gay.

My birthday is July 24th. We'll be in Fire Island for a quick weekend, hopefully my fucking tire around my old stomach will be gone, but anyway,.........yeah July 24th. I always throw parties for Kevin's birthday.

wink.

corn is as high, as an elephant's eye

ah. such a drastic difference. what a change a day makes. once was lost, now i am found.

ok, i jest, but really....i feel like a million bucks today. It's beautiful out, i still got no sleep, but i feel pretty damn happy. I rode my bike over the bridge to work today, its not an easy ride and i am sweating pretty good, but it is so invigorating. The things that go through your mind on top of a bridge though....very very odd. The pedestrian path across the Ben Franklin Bridge is elevated, so you are riding/walking above the cars. On the way up the bridge you are huffing and puffing cause it's pretty steep, but on the way down....holy mamma cantalupay. it's so fast and all i can think about is my wheel falling off, or hitting a bump and going right over the railing, which ....when i my mind starts to think that, i slow right down. Its high as shit up there.

Anyway, i always think of death when riding across the bridge.....like i'm some sort of danger seeker...poor me. The cheap thrills of a wanna be adrenaline chaser.

Anyway, this guy in the picture.....he be funny. Hot, but funny. I think, i think he's supposed to be a cricket player...right? But somehow he looks like he's getting ready to give a colon exam, or he's one of the bad guys in Hostel: Part 6 - the models.

Oh, he has big ears too, don't he ?

up the water spout

Well.
I have to keep looking at this picture today and saying some sort of positive mantra to help me out. For I am having a bastard of a day. It hurts. To be me. I swear. Firstly, in the last week i've been really having a lot of trouble sleeping. I am so so so close to submitting to the Ambien gods, but i so dont' want to do that. I want to fight my way through this, but it's so hard to miss sleep. Secondly, Kevin (poor guy) got called into work this morning at 5am. Which totally totally sucks for him, and even more for me. Falling back to sleep under my gentle condition is no easy task. And I am not very happy when awoken in the morning. Yet my heart goes out to kevin. Thirdly, it's raining out today, and Nathan did not bring an umbrella. When i left my house, on my bike, it was not really raining and all the reports alluded to the fact that there would be no more rain today..... i've walked a lot in the rain this morning...and so so so grumpy.
And it gets worse, i am wet because of the rain, but also wet because my hairy ass is sweatin so damn much.........i forgot deodorant, and my foot hurts from playing soccer.

SOOOOOOOOOOOOO
I look at that picture. It makes me happy. That is a place of residence where we'll be staying. In the Pines. And i CANNOT wait.
I am happy. I am. Plus, tonight is So You Think You Can Dance. I love me some dancing queens.
Oh, and did you know my birthday is coming up. Very soon. It's a big one, and I am ok. I really am. Gotta go. Meditate and get better.

traded them all in to be in your arms

It wouldn't be fair to stop posting hot men. It just wouldn't. And i have such fun finding them.

so here you are.

As it's New Music Tuesday, I've spent some money on Itunes today already. I could spend many hours scanning through that crap. Not just new music though. You never know when you'll find something unexpected. Something that you used to listen to a few years ago, something that was playing when you were having an intimate moment, or when you were doing the best cardio workout of your life....you just never know what you'll stumble on. For a while now Arjan, of ArjanWrites.com has been plugging Mandy Moore's new cd, Wild Hope. I've liked that little pop tart for a while, since "I wanna be with you" came out, which is totally gay, and totally yearn worthy, so shut it !!! Anyway, I bought her new one today and i was working out listening on the Pod and a song came on, i got all goose bumpy and started to tear up......not in a sad mood at all really, but it caught me off guard, so tender....anyway, it's worth checking out....it's called Gardenia and i felt a wave of emotion listening to it, give it a shot, if you think i'm worth anything at all.

UPDATE : just found out that song was co-written by Chantal Kreviazuk....one of my fav artists. I am sooooo in tune.

gatorade is good

There isn't much to tell you. Except that we did a very bad thing last night. We got plastered on a school night. Yes, we did. Good and messed up on a Thursday. Part of me feels like we needed that, yeah pretty much. We've had the most craptastic week eva and last nights affairs seemed well deserved. And, make no second guess about it....the hangover is well deserved too. No jokes. I woke up this morning and my mouth was the most vile thing you've ever seen, tasted, smelled, or petted. It was frothy and disgusting. We went to a "gay professional" happy hour. Just another happy hour with many of the same faces....which is totally fine with me. I really enjoyed it, dinner to follow and then to a friend's house.
Very bad things indeed.
But, Gatorade is good. It makes you feel better. But nothing takes this tired weary skin on my face from continuing on and on. I just need a good shower.
thats all.

oo oo ow ow ow gasp

You must, I say MUST, go to youtube.com and search for "grape lady stomping". I saw this a year or two back and just rediscovered it. It's fanfuckingtastic.

Oh The Places You'll Go

I spent many hours staring at this book cover, many years ago. Superfudge was so BAD.
There was no stopping me. That Dr. Sleuth reading contest for Multiple Sclerosis, i wanted to win it so so badly. I read and read all summer long, and holy hell, did i ever read some of the most formative pages of my life. I was always stealing away to whatever world those books held. A Wrinkle in Time. Tales of a Fourth Grade Nothing and it's follow up Superfudge.
Are You There God? It's Me, Margaret. ooppsss....was i gay then too? The Rats of Nimh. Where The Red Fern Grows. So many ways to live a life i didn't have.
I don;t recall if I won that contest, I'd sorta forgotten about it once i discovered the world of reading.
When we were in Bethany Beach for Memorial Day, we were waiting outside a restaurant one night. The man on the table next to us read A Wrinkle in Time to his kid. Touching. Simple.

Once again so distant from where i am, or was. Yet elicits the same gut feelings all over again.
A time when life seemed so very overwhelming, yet now looks like a walk in the park. I wonder if I'll look back at this day and see how overwhelmed i was, and didn't have to be ????

I am the silent one inside

New Music Tuesdays, thats today.
Paula Cole. Do you all remember her?

1. Where Have All The Cowboys Gone?
2. Feelin Love
3. I Don't Wanna Wait (Dawson's Creek song)

She rose pretty quickly with this cd and then fell a few years later. She's pretty open about how much pain it was to be dropped from her record label and have her third release flop.
She has a new CD out today. It's called Courage. It's VERY different than her previous tracks. I dig it, but i've been a long time fan of hers......This Fire really pulled me through some good and very bad times in my life, and i love it for all its wonder and memory. And pain.
Anyway, check it out. it's on itunes.

My favorite song by Ms. Cole - ME

And it's me who's too weak
And it's me who's too shy
To ask for the thing i love
And it's me who's too weak
And it's me who's too shy
To ask for the thing i love
That I love
I am walking on the bridge
I am over the water
And I'm scared as hell
But I know there's something better
Yes I know there's something better
Yes I know, yes i know, yes i know
That I love
But it's me
And it's me
But it's me

why are there so many..songs about.......

I posted something earlier, but it's gone. Gone gone. To nowhere special i suppose. Odd. we'll see if it shows up.

Basically - had a great weekend, although feel very tired today. Can barely keep my eyes open actually. All i want to do is get back into bed and be cuddly. Thats all.
Gay pride was yesterday - and I've sorta been reflecting on what i observed. Pride....it brings all sorts of people out. We sat and watched the enormous amount of ...well freaky freaks yesterday for most of the day.
Now, i know we basically stick to those who are most like us....i know that. But really. If i saw one more young girl/lesbian...with pink or blue hair, with piercings in odd odd places....i was going to loose it. Dirty.
Freaks aside though...it was a happy day, lots of smiles and pleasant-ness. Which was nice. The only side effect of yesterday was that i began to feel old, for the first time really. I am totally fine with my age, but i saw firsthand how much i've changed and how far the divide from those little boys in cut offs running around with hickey's on their necks. It was an odd awakening. Still trying to process it. I know that if i felt better about myself right now, that maybe i wouldn't even have noticed...but i did. All the same, it was nice to walk around with my best friends and my husband of seven years. I've found my place for now...and i am happy with it.
Back to my regularly schedule Monday montage.
Natie

insatiable

I have had an insatiable hunger for books in the last few weeks. I read "Water for Elephants" in three days, and then....on a whim bought "The Other Boleyn Girl". The book was around 675 pages, I finished it in 5 days. I could not put that sucker down, i haven't turned the TV on at all, and have begun to talk like one of the Tudor's. It was that good. Compelling. I was sad to see it end. I love books like that, both of those books did that to me. Really really good stuff. I know that I've needed to escape this week. I've been really out of my mind, and a pretty tough bear to be around.....so i thought and told kevin....i just need to do my own thing. But there was nothing i could do on my own. Go to a movie?? Go for a walk? No substance. Which now leads to other questions for me.....like why can't i find something to do on my own ? Annoying, and alarming.

Anyway - the books put me in a good place and i am glad for it.

Now, i seem to be obsessed with Henry VIII and all the drama. And. Trust, there was drama.

My wild nights pale in comparison.

This weekend should prove to scandalize....Bob and Charles are coming from Baltimore and we have some parties, and a possible ticket on the BOOZE Cruise. Not sure if we'll be hittin that up, let's see what develops.

It does happen to be Philadelphia's Gay Pride weekend. It underwhelms me though. In fact, I can't think of anything to look forward to....other than the great big gay flea market.
Ah.

Philly.

It just has too may gay celebratory things. So not one of them stands out as being special or different. Just me.

see ya later.

and who from Philly is reading this? Just let me know, just one little hint or the whole damned thing. Who is out there?

can you dig it?

Yes.
Nathan was one of the Beer Pong Master's two weeks ago at Gary and Alyssa's nice little suburban party. Very drunk and very fun !!!

turning tricks till your turned out

nothing could be more fitting. lifted from postasecret.com

You might guess by these pics that we went to a ball game yesterday. And we had the best time. I tell ya, i was never a huge fan of Baseball, i guess partially due to my hysterics from baseball growing up....(getting a line drive in the mouth - officially making the first time i got knocked out....fretting horrifically that the pitcher was going to pummel me with a bad pitch)..but yesterday we watched a great game. And we sat in a suite....which was amazing, free food and booze and someone waiting on us hand and foot. Good times. Cole Hamels is our pitcher, but he didn't pitch last night, i had to post him even still...he's hot as hell.

We had a packed weekend...Friday night party and then Saturday we drove up to Northern Jersey shore to spend the night at John and Tim's friend's house at the beach.....good times and good food.
Trying to get all this Fire Island crap secured....it's really getting to cause me to loose some sleep, for many reasons, i won't bore you though.
How is everyone doing anyway?
Any of you been out to the Island yet?

Well hope all is well.

Talk to you later, enjoy the terrible Monday !!!!