perhaps i am not intrested in you....neither are you.

During a recent dinner conversation with a friend, I was lamenting the progression of my relationship with Kevin….addressing the challenges and pleasures of a relationship in it’s 6th year. The conversation led to my friend’s coming out story. One which was marked with much emotional tidal and pressure. To note, my friend is perhaps one of the driest humored people I have ever met.
Anyway, being in love with his best friend for many years, he had a particularly difficult hangover from a night of much wanton longing and pain with his friend (who never came out as being gay, or mildly interesting in experimenting).
Friend talked of how he went to a Sporting Goods / Hunting store on that day and began to pick out a gun to use on himself to end his pain.
In the end he made the choice to live and move away from his life circumstances, becoming a well rounded, upstanding addition to the gay community.
I asked him what motivated him to take the braver, more challenging, route to live, rather than end his life.
His response?
“I couldn’t rationalize buying something so expensive that I would only get to use just once.”