through the looking glass

often. many times. I find myself staring in the mirror. Kevin says it's because I lack any self confidence, because i need to get "help". I say it's because I like what I see.
Most of the time.
Then sometimes, when I make bad decisions, eat a lot of soft Philly pretzels, or when a shirt doesn't quite hide that little protrusion round my tummy....those times I take time to stare a little more and be more critical. And I think thats a good thang. Promotionally you have to be critical to make change.

Last year, at this very time...maybe a few days off.......some things happened that caused me to stop and take one hard mother f*(#$ing look in that there mirror. It hurt alot. Shit....who am i kidding, that mirror, as well as my sanity, cracked right down the damn middle....and then off the side - and then spiderwebbed until I was unrecognizable. (if you've no idea of what i speak, read the archives...it's in there)

So strange that in the same week of the year...this year....things have shifted, the planet tilted, just enough to make me stop and explore. To make sure this life I am living is the one I want. Is my current invention the one i want it to be.
Maybe....but ....well the point of all this ????
Rambling I guess.....or trying to deliver a message....be what you want. Stand up for what you believe. It ain't easy, but it's well worth the try. I bump into these moments a few times a year. I guess I am grateful that this year it's not as a result of some pile of shit i stepped in.
Nate