you could be happy, but i won't know....
Last Wednesday I was singing Karaoke at a bar with my boyfriend smiling at me from the barstool. This Wednesday I was thinking about how quickly my life fell apart.
I woke up today at another one of my friend’s houses….the second in three days and I felt ok. I didn’t sob, I didn’t fall to the ground in a heaping mess of severe pain. I washed up, dried off, put on my wrinkled work clothes and opened the door of the house to go to Starbucks..the cool autumn air hit me and i fell apart.
I can't even explain how this feels...so i won't try. The people on the street who stop to ask me if i'm ok, I wonder what they think is wrong. Do they think i lost my pet? A relative? Do they think I was fired from my job?
It's pathetic. I know it is, but knowing that doesn't stop it from happening. There is no controling it.
I was wrong in the other post when i said i'd been here before. I was so wrong. I have never been here. Ever.
and for the tiniest moment, it's all not true.
do the things that you always wanted to.
without me there holding you back,
don't think, just do.
4 comments:
I beg you to have patience with everything unresolved in your heart and learn to love the questions themselves as if they were locked rooms orbooks written in a very foreign language. Do not search for theanswers, which could not be given to you now, because you would not beable to live them. And the point is to live everything. Live thequestions. Perhaps then, someday far in the future, you willgradually, without ever noticing it, live your way into the answer.
Rainer Maria Rilke
hope you are able to smile sometime soon through the heartbreak.....
hey i know how that feels, like brand new says... i realize that everyone who lives will someday die and die alone...
really tho what song is that... "you could be happy and i wont know, but you werent happy the day i let you go.." is that by brand new? whats it called!!!
It's by Snow Patrol...You could be Happy......
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