The One Where Nate Has to Get His Shit Together

bottome line.
I have to get my shit in order. Get myself together. The last month has been less than zero. No questions asked. And it's well past due for me to organize and stop being so passive about my development. This weekend started out strong. Went to see "Running with Scissors" on Friday night and ate dinner.....that was that. I awoke Sunday afternoon with some vague recollections of Saturday night.
What i can see through this blurry mind of mine is being at a late night party and some guy was laying across my lap and those of us who were sitting on the couch. He was all comfy and cozy and completely butt naked. I can't seem to seee more than that though, so have no idea what the hell was going on. At any rate, this exemplifies why Nate must get his shit in order.
I also have fallen off the fitness wagon. The fitness AND food wagon. Since Kevin and I have been.........reconstructing, well since the original deconstruction (when i wasn't eating a damn thing), I now eat anything and everything that comes across my pudge fat face. At the beginning of this I also couldn't get up that much energy to push it at the gym. As a result I feel terrible. Horrible. Although I don't weigh anymore, I know that the muscle mass has depleted...this summer people were telling me how i was BLOWIN up...in a good way....in a muscle way. Now.....well now Nate has to get his shit together.
And
I don't know how to do it.
I feel confused on how to regain my life....Mind you, i'm not sad or depressed...just confused. Like a rat in a maze......
Oh, and Noah puked on the rug i bought for the bedroom. It won't come out or up....i hate that.